Today I found myself flipping through the pages of the calender. I am not looking for a scheduled event, but rather an UNscheduled event. I find some modicum of comfort in looking ahead to the imaginary date on which we will get to pick up our baby girl. Pitiful, I know.
The days lately seem endless, but the inquiring looks from others, sometimes keeps me indoors to avoid the barrage of disappointed stares. I actually had a mom I know apologize to me before asking about when our baby would get here. She did not want to cause me any more pain than I was already experiencing. I find it humbling to know that others suffer along with me during this wait.
Some common questions I have been thinking about.
"When will she come home?"
"I don't know."
"Why does it take so long?"
"I don't know."
"Don't they know this is a child?"
"I don't know."
As I look at these three questions, I reflect on the word on which the emphasis is placed. Hmmmm. When will she come home? "I" don't know, but my Lord does.
Why does it take so long? I "don't" know. If I did, I could explain it or maybe fix it.
Don't they know this is a child? I don't "know" anything about the people who God has placed in charge of my daughter's future. All I do know is that He has chosen very carefully all who will be involved in her paperwork, just as He has carefully chosen the family that will welcome her home when the time arrives.
I guess the lesson to learn is that the emphasis must be on GOD. He has all of the answers, even to the toughest questions. I can hear Him speaking to me , His child, as I ask these questions of Him. He is saying,"Because I said so!" I smile knowingly, because there are times when I have uttered these very words when speaking to my own children. Not because I don't want to answer them, but because the answer to their questions would be too far above their comprehension. Trust! It boils down to trust. We ask our children to trust us every day. God is asking me to trust Him in all things. Sometimes His will is too far above my comprehension.
1 comment:
I like this post! I know exactly how you feel! Our family keeps asking "when" and we have no idea. Our paperwork isn't even registered in Vietnam yet. I like how you wrote "I" have no idea but that God does know and his timing is perfect. Sometimes it's hard to wait, but we trust him. Best wishes to you!
Post a Comment