Milestones

Throughout our adoption process, we counted milestones. Some were so very exciting!! These were signing the contract with AGCI, mailing off the dossier, being put on the waiting list, getting "the call' for referral, seeing those first precious pictures of our daughter, visiting her for the first time, holding her for the first time, getting DNA, getting PA from USE, getting IN to PGN.....

Some milestones were more difficult. Getting past the DNA glitch( USE wouldn't accept transferred DNA), getting kicked out of PGN twice, the second time on her first birthday, getting caught up in the CA mess...twice, missing her first birthday...

Other milestones are just now happening. These are the saddest of the sad. On June 26th we "celebrated" our one year anniversary of getting "Y's" referral. Today we celebrate the one year anniversary of the day we traveled to Guatemala for our visit trip. Tomorrow will mark one year from the time we first held our new little daughter in our arms. We were so full of hope and anticipation of bringing her home. HH was wonderful. We had a picture perfect time. We totally fell in love with this small child who lives so very far away. She felt like she was mine.

AGCI always reminds us to "guard our hearts". After all, anything can happen with international adoption. I would like to know how anyone can do that. I simply cannot fathom entering into this process with a guarded heart. Where my children are concerned, I am fully vested. Heart, mind and soul. Guarding my heart means not feeling or growing in love. When I think about this, I bring to mind words that a very wise woman once told me as we were embarking on foster care. We asked about loving these children who would be with us, and then having to let them go. She said very simply," No one ever died from loving a child." How true that is. Our hearts will always be affected by these tiny beings who come into our lives. Whether they are there for a few days or for a lifetime, we should love them completely. Maybe the reason they are placed with us is so that we WILL love them. After all, who needs love more than they do?

I love you my sweet, Y. You will always be the daughter of my heart. No one can take the love I have for you away. It is mine to keep, yet keeping it is loss, not gain, therefore I give it to you. You will never be without me in your life. My love for you will always remain. No matter what. You may depend upon it. I may not be holding you in my arms right now, but know for certain that I hold you daily in the arms of my heart.

Hugs and squeezes from Momma