How often have I prayed for strength to "go on"? Many times. When my children were newborns, and the days and nights just seemd to flow one into the next. Sleep was only captured when I could pry my watchful eyes off of their angelic faces. For me, to gaze upon a newborn is to be allowed a treasure beyond comprehension. I would pray for strength to get up another time to nourish that precious life. They were so hungry for food and for the reassurance that I was out there , and that I had heard their cry.
When my father died of a massive heart attack, and I had missed getting to see him that day.
When my nephew and neice's firstborn was lost to a heart condition at 9 weeks old.
When my adoption journey took an unexpected turn.
When ......trials that only happen to "someone else" unfold in my own life.
I am reminded that the Lord is my strength to go on, but ALSO the Lord is my strength to "sit still"!!! To do nothing. To just sit still and wait, requires great strength! "Thank you , Jesus for the strength to sit still and wait on You." Amen.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Decision Made
Dear Friends,
First of all, I wanted to officially say that Wubby and I have signed the postponement contract with AGCI for Guatemala. God is s-l-o-w-l-y unfolding His plan for us. We feel like we need to stay put!
That being said, I have been journaling for a purpose. Sometimes when I feel as if God isn't departing any direction for me, I can look back over a week or two of journaling, and there I will find my answer.
Some words I have been hearing are:
-Psalms 138: 1-3,7-8
...The lord will complete what He has done for me.
- God's pain in our suffering is even greater than our own.
-Luke 1:45
Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.
-From the book,"Streams in the Desert"
The things that are most precious to us today have come to us through tears and pain.
- The story of Abraham and Sarah: Sarah could not wait on the Lord. She did not believe that His word to her and Abraham would come true. She took it upon herself to make things happen. I do not want to do that. I want to trust Him in the wait!!
- "Be still".
-Psalms 121:1
Lift up your eyes to the hills and go forward. There is no other way.
-It is by trusting you will know fellowship with Him.
-Isaiah 49:4
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the Lord,
My recompense is with my God.
-Three times I was reminded that 1) You knit me in my mother's womb 2) from my mother's womb He gave me my name 3) the Lord called me from birth, from my mother's womb He gave me my name.
This lets me know that I am not forgotten. He knows right where I am.
-Isaiah 45: 2-3
I go before you and level the mountains; Bronze doors I will shatter, and iron bars I will snap. I will give you treasures out of the darkness, and riches that have been hidden away. That you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name!
First of all, I wanted to officially say that Wubby and I have signed the postponement contract with AGCI for Guatemala. God is s-l-o-w-l-y unfolding His plan for us. We feel like we need to stay put!
That being said, I have been journaling for a purpose. Sometimes when I feel as if God isn't departing any direction for me, I can look back over a week or two of journaling, and there I will find my answer.
Some words I have been hearing are:
-Psalms 138: 1-3,7-8
...The lord will complete what He has done for me.
- God's pain in our suffering is even greater than our own.
-Luke 1:45
Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.
-From the book,"Streams in the Desert"
The things that are most precious to us today have come to us through tears and pain.
- The story of Abraham and Sarah: Sarah could not wait on the Lord. She did not believe that His word to her and Abraham would come true. She took it upon herself to make things happen. I do not want to do that. I want to trust Him in the wait!!
- "Be still".
-Psalms 121:1
Lift up your eyes to the hills and go forward. There is no other way.
-It is by trusting you will know fellowship with Him.
-Isaiah 49:4
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the Lord,
My recompense is with my God.
-Three times I was reminded that 1) You knit me in my mother's womb 2) from my mother's womb He gave me my name 3) the Lord called me from birth, from my mother's womb He gave me my name.
This lets me know that I am not forgotten. He knows right where I am.
-Isaiah 45: 2-3
I go before you and level the mountains; Bronze doors I will shatter, and iron bars I will snap. I will give you treasures out of the darkness, and riches that have been hidden away. That you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name!
The Taste of Blackberries
My Friends,
I am quite alone in my house right now. The cats are even asleep. Wubby is umpiring baseball, Son 1 is working, Son 2 is "chillin" with a friend, Son 3 is working, and Summer Rain is down the street with a friend. I am here blog-stalking and learning lessons from others. The smell of a made-from- scratch blackberry cobbler is permeating my thoughts. It is almost done. The blackberries are fresh from the prickly vines that torment the picker. We can learn a lot about life from a blackberry bush! The blackberry is very well protected from the hand that seeks to remove it from it's home. How often do I set my eyes on the prize , only to forget to watch out for the snares and brambles that must be faced before any triumph can be had? God never promised that there wouldn't be thorns in the blackberry patch, but anyone who has ever popped a bursting blackberry into their mouth after the battle with those thorns, can attest to the fact that the battle is worth it!! YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am quite alone in my house right now. The cats are even asleep. Wubby is umpiring baseball, Son 1 is working, Son 2 is "chillin" with a friend, Son 3 is working, and Summer Rain is down the street with a friend. I am here blog-stalking and learning lessons from others. The smell of a made-from- scratch blackberry cobbler is permeating my thoughts. It is almost done. The blackberries are fresh from the prickly vines that torment the picker. We can learn a lot about life from a blackberry bush! The blackberry is very well protected from the hand that seeks to remove it from it's home. How often do I set my eyes on the prize , only to forget to watch out for the snares and brambles that must be faced before any triumph can be had? God never promised that there wouldn't be thorns in the blackberry patch, but anyone who has ever popped a bursting blackberry into their mouth after the battle with those thorns, can attest to the fact that the battle is worth it!! YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Bittersweet Memories
I would love to be posting a beautiful picture of our "Y" today, but alas, that is not to be. God has other plans than the ones I first thought were unfolding. At least He has another end to this story than the one I envisioned. His way will be infinitely more beautiful and will give Him the glory He deserves. I hope I can point to that glory and to Him in a way that will be pleasing to my Lord.
This is not to say that I am not sad beyond belief at this circumstance we are now in. Today is the one year anniversary of our referral call. I can clearly remember the time and day. It was a Tuesday. Mid-afternoon. It took two phone calls, one to start my heart, the next to send it soaring into heaven:) I was on my way to work to teach my parenting class, when my cell phone rang with confirmation of "Y". I remember crying, screaming, and wondering how in the world I was EVER gonna teach my class!!!
This memory will be with me always.
"I love you, my sweet, sweet little girl."
This is not to say that I am not sad beyond belief at this circumstance we are now in. Today is the one year anniversary of our referral call. I can clearly remember the time and day. It was a Tuesday. Mid-afternoon. It took two phone calls, one to start my heart, the next to send it soaring into heaven:) I was on my way to work to teach my parenting class, when my cell phone rang with confirmation of "Y". I remember crying, screaming, and wondering how in the world I was EVER gonna teach my class!!!
This memory will be with me always.
"I love you, my sweet, sweet little girl."
Saturday, June 21, 2008
What a cute couple!
This is my oldest son and his girlfriend. Are they not just the cutest!!! They have been together since Chris was 16 years old! It will be 6 years this September! (Funny little aside...I met Wubby when I was 16!!)
We love her like our own:) I could not have hand picked out a better soul mate for our son. " Thank you Jesus!!"
Some of Matt's Portfolio
We scattered a few of Matt's drawings around the formal dining room at his graduation reception. It was real treat to see a lot of his work all in one place:) We wanted to display his final art project, but it wouldn't fit. He built an 8 feet by 4 feet skating box, and painted a mural on it. We couldn't quite get it in the house!!
Happy Graduation!
Our sweet Matt! I just love this boy!! He is sporting all of the cords and medals for his art acheivement. We are so proud of him:) He is headed to UAB with an art scholarship!!GO MATT!!
Wild,Wild West!
This is Summer Rain in one of the four costumes that she wore in her dance recital this year! This was her tap number! We always have a great time with recital!! Such a girly thing:) She is taking five classes each week. Tap, Jazz, Hip-Hop, Ballet, and Modern. We practically live at The Dance Company!!
Anyone Hungry?
Okay! You know you are a mom when you go away without the kids and you take pictures of the "cool' McDonald's because you just know your kiddos will have to see it!!! We actually went inside for coffee, just so we could tell Summer Rain we did and that we sat on the second level:) I must say, she was VERY impressed!!LOL!
Amazing!
Well hellllllooooo! I have just a few minutes to put a couple of pictures here. Wubby and I went to Las Vegas the first of this month on a mini vacation. Well, actually, Wubby was awarded Employee of the Year in his department at work, and the award ceremony was there, and I got to go along for the ride. We stayed at Caesar's Palace, and the hotel was gorgeous! It earned it's 5- star rating:) The only drawback was no coffee pot in our room!! I guess if you stay at a 5-star hotel, you are not supposed to make your own coffee, you are supposed to pay the $20 to have coffee sent to your room each day!!
Anyway, my favorite part was the shopping!! This picture was actually taken INSIDE!! The ceiling is painted like the sky, so it always seems mid-day while you are there. Amazing...and probably someone did research to determine the time of day most people made purchases, and that was the kind of day the sky would reflect!!TEEHEE!!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Something To Ponder
Sometimes ordinary words are placed side-by-side and they become extraordinary wisdom.
For example:
"Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect."
I am contemplating this wisdom.
For example:
"Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect."
I am contemplating this wisdom.
Friday, June 6, 2008
I Go Before You Always
I received this this morning in my inbox. It is from a website called "God's Minute". It amazes me how God can use litterally ANYTHING to get His comforting word out to us when we need it most.
BE STRONG AND OF GOOD COURAGE; DO NOT BE AFRAID, NOR BE DISMAYED, FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. ( JOSHUA 1:9 * NKJV )
Dear Robin,
Whenever you become fearful know that: THE LORD, HE IS THE ONE WHO GOES BEFORE YOU. HE WILL BE WITH YOU, HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU; DO NOT FEAR NOR BE DISMAYED. ( DEUTERONOMY 31:8 ) After all, when we are fearful we worry and tend to build mountains out of mole hills in our minds. Now things rarely ever materialize nearly as bad as we then have anticipated. Thus we have become fearful for nothing, and remember that fear is the opposite of faith! Now God has even promised us: WHEN YOU PASS THROUGH THE WATERS, I WILL BE WITH YOU; AND THROUGH THE RIVERS, THEY SHALL NOT OVERFLOW YOU. WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE FIRE, YOU SHALL NOT BE BURNED, NOR SHALL THE FLAMES SCORCH YOU. ( ISAIAH 43:2 ) This verse is referring to the Children passing through the Red Sea, and also the protection HE gave to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, in the fiery furnace. Both are good examples of how God has helped HIS Children in the past! Therefore King David was able to boldly say: "YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL; FOR YOUR ROD AND STAFF, THEY COMFORT ME. ( PSALM 23:4 ) So Robin, when you become worried or fearful know that God will help you, just as HE has done for His Children in the past! Therefore; you may boldly say: THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND MY SALVATION; WHOM SHALL I FEAR? THE LORD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY LIFE; OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID? Amen! ( PSALM 27:1 )
In HIS Love & Service,
Pastor Allen
BE STRONG AND OF GOOD COURAGE; DO NOT BE AFRAID, NOR BE DISMAYED, FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. ( JOSHUA 1:9 * NKJV )
Dear Robin,
Whenever you become fearful know that: THE LORD, HE IS THE ONE WHO GOES BEFORE YOU. HE WILL BE WITH YOU, HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU; DO NOT FEAR NOR BE DISMAYED. ( DEUTERONOMY 31:8 ) After all, when we are fearful we worry and tend to build mountains out of mole hills in our minds. Now things rarely ever materialize nearly as bad as we then have anticipated. Thus we have become fearful for nothing, and remember that fear is the opposite of faith! Now God has even promised us: WHEN YOU PASS THROUGH THE WATERS, I WILL BE WITH YOU; AND THROUGH THE RIVERS, THEY SHALL NOT OVERFLOW YOU. WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE FIRE, YOU SHALL NOT BE BURNED, NOR SHALL THE FLAMES SCORCH YOU. ( ISAIAH 43:2 ) This verse is referring to the Children passing through the Red Sea, and also the protection HE gave to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, in the fiery furnace. Both are good examples of how God has helped HIS Children in the past! Therefore King David was able to boldly say: "YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL; FOR YOUR ROD AND STAFF, THEY COMFORT ME. ( PSALM 23:4 ) So Robin, when you become worried or fearful know that God will help you, just as HE has done for His Children in the past! Therefore; you may boldly say: THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND MY SALVATION; WHOM SHALL I FEAR? THE LORD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY LIFE; OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID? Amen! ( PSALM 27:1 )
In HIS Love & Service,
Pastor Allen
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Call
Well, once again I am looking for light in this dark place. I know God is with me, but what He is up to I cannot say. Our news about our adoption case is not what we had hoped. PGN did not change their minds about our case. It remains closed.
I am trying to look up to my Father and praise Him for His works in my life. I know He already knew this would happen, but I didn't, and I have to trust His heart to know what is best for me and for "Y".
Please pray for our family as we travel a road not yet traveled. We do not know where it will lead us. Maybe to another adoption....maybe not.
I will open my heart to His will. I will pray it seeps into my soul and flows in my veins, and becomes my lifeblood. May His will become my will, and may I be a good and faithful servant to Him. May this trial only serve to draw me closer in, and strengthen the bond I have with Him.
Amen,
Robin
I am trying to look up to my Father and praise Him for His works in my life. I know He already knew this would happen, but I didn't, and I have to trust His heart to know what is best for me and for "Y".
Please pray for our family as we travel a road not yet traveled. We do not know where it will lead us. Maybe to another adoption....maybe not.
I will open my heart to His will. I will pray it seeps into my soul and flows in my veins, and becomes my lifeblood. May His will become my will, and may I be a good and faithful servant to Him. May this trial only serve to draw me closer in, and strengthen the bond I have with Him.
Amen,
Robin
AGCI vs PGN
I could just have easily said God vs Satan in my title for this post. I truly believe this is a spiritual battle we are facing. The Enemy knows that if this child comes home to us that she will be brought forth to be baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit! This is not lost on the Evil One. He does not underestimate the power of God!
The meeting with PGN to decide "Y's" case is this afternoon.
Please pray!
The meeting with PGN to decide "Y's" case is this afternoon.
Please pray!
FOUND! AN OPEN WINDOW!!
I know I am backtracking a bit, but I must type that last Friday, May 30th, I received a call from All God's Children International, our adoption agency. It was definitely a "God Thing" kind of call. We had been recently told that our current adoption was closed, and we would have to make the gruelling choice of what to do next. God was not really nudging me in any particular direction. We could opt to terminate the whole process (that one gave me such a sense of emptiness), we could sign a postponement contract in Guatemala, or we could switch to another country and basically start all over. Heavy sigh! No option was what we wanted. We wanted our sweet daughter to come home from Guatemala. The blessings of a christian organization such as AGCI is that THEY are committed to praying for us all also. As we waited for discernment, they were also praying for His will to be done.
The call about this tragic news came on Wed. May 21st. During our grief, we felt all of the prayers of our friends lifting our hearts and minds to give glory to God. I really cannot describe how protected I felt during the moments between the two phone calls that were as different as night and day. One took away all hope....one brought it all back.
The second call was to tell us that PGN (Guatemala board of advisers that approve all adoptions) had requested a second review of our case to bring our daughter home!! PGN NEVER does this! This can only, without mistake, be the hand of our Lord interceding in this situation Himself! It truly is a case of Him seeing what has to be done, and opening a window for His will to pass through.
I am following Him as closely as I can. I see the window, and although AGCI has said to "guard my heart" lest I be disappointed, I am breathing in the sweet breath of hope that billows at the curtains surrounding the window that He has unlocked and lifted open. I am following His Hope.
The light that was not visible before, is now streaming through the panes of this window and is also piercing through the pains we have endured in our journey to this child.
Peace be with you all,
Robin
The call about this tragic news came on Wed. May 21st. During our grief, we felt all of the prayers of our friends lifting our hearts and minds to give glory to God. I really cannot describe how protected I felt during the moments between the two phone calls that were as different as night and day. One took away all hope....one brought it all back.
The second call was to tell us that PGN (Guatemala board of advisers that approve all adoptions) had requested a second review of our case to bring our daughter home!! PGN NEVER does this! This can only, without mistake, be the hand of our Lord interceding in this situation Himself! It truly is a case of Him seeing what has to be done, and opening a window for His will to pass through.
I am following Him as closely as I can. I see the window, and although AGCI has said to "guard my heart" lest I be disappointed, I am breathing in the sweet breath of hope that billows at the curtains surrounding the window that He has unlocked and lifted open. I am following His Hope.
The light that was not visible before, is now streaming through the panes of this window and is also piercing through the pains we have endured in our journey to this child.
Peace be with you all,
Robin
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