I Go Before You Always

The Outcome

2010-05-25T15:13:00.000-07:00

I want to thank you all again for keeping us in your prayers. Believe me when I say that they were every one felt!! We just got word from our lawyer in Guatemala that our daughter's birthmother's sister appeared at the hearing and requested custody of her neice. The court will give her custody if she passes a social worker study and visits her neice once a week for the next month to establish a bond. If she doesn't do this, or fails to be reccommended by the social study, then we will have to see if they revert the judge's decision for her to have custody. She will not get physical custody until all of this criteria are met.
God is good...ALL the time.
Robin

Morning Already?

2010-05-25T06:27:00.000-07:00

As I awoke to the alarm this morning, at 5am no less, I hit the floor with a quiet thud as I walked toward the light in the bathroom. I looked up, squinting at my husband who always gets up this early on Tuesday mornings, and said," There are only three things that get me up this early. One, a trip to Disney,two, a trip to Guatemala, and three Jesus!" I went to mass!!
I could hardly believe that it was already time for the darkness to be replaced by the dawn. Hmmmm. How profound of a statement is that on such a day as this. I have waited so long for my period of darkness and waiting to be replaced by the light of a new day. To hear God saying,"See, I am doing something new." Today is the day! Our hearing day. The word "hearing" itself is full of meaning. The court proceeding today is not called a "listening", but a "hearing". To me, that implies that someone will actually hear what is being said. They will not just listen, but will HEAR. Anyone who has ears ought to hear.
I will praise God for His divine life in me. I am so thankful for Him and for His direction and providence. The Lord has done great things for me and I am filled with joy!! He is the bread of life, and He will raise me up on the last day. He reminds me, " I go before you always, come follow me."

To Judge and to be Judged

2010-05-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Tomorrow I will be clock-watching and praying and wondering if someone else's schedule is running "on time"!! Our hearing, the one we have been waiting for for a whole year, is finally here! Tomorrow at 10:30 am Guatemala time, a judge will sit on the judge's seat in a courtroom in Guatemala City. That judge will look at our case, and decide what to do. I do not know this judge. I have written a letter a long time ago to this judge. I have prayed for this judge, and I have wondered what I could do to impress upon this judge just how much I love the little girl staring back at her from the page her picture is attached to. How can one person decide the future of another? The decision this judge makes will cause many ripples in the ocean that is the life of a child. I would hope that this judge takes the time to pray to the One True Judge before making any decision. The Judge of heaven and earth. That Judge will give divine wisdom, if only the other judge will seek it. Wisdom. How wonderful is wisdom. It guides us to the path of righteousness. It is ours for the asking. I am asking for wisdom to be given to this judge. I am asking that this earthly judge seek God's plan for the future of this child. I am asking that somehow, some way, this earthly judge will know that this tiny daughter has a family to call her own. A family that has waited almost four years for her to join them. A family committed to caring for her for the rest of her life. Our family. I am asking that this earthly judge seek the guidance of the Heavenly Judge. After all, this tiny daughter has a name, and her name has a meaning, and that meaning is : "God is my Judge."

The Lord's Day

2010-05-23T12:46:00.000-07:00

This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Today the sun is shining here and the sky is blue. The warmth of the day seeps into my soul. I love days like this. They start out with promise and end with fulfillment. We went to mass this morning and the church was decorated befitting Pentecost Sunday. I can't help but see the "rightness" of this being Pentecost Sunday. The church celebrating the "coming of the Holy Spirit" to us at a time in our adoption when we have been praying so hard for the coming of the Holy Spirit. It is as if the Lord Himself wants everyone to know that He is present for us at this time. The Advocate is ever present to us. The Advocate is ever present to all of us. That is the beauty of our Lord's divine nature. He knows exactly what we need. When we need it most, and He sends us "marching orders" (as Father Phil said today). We come to worship Him and He gives us a mission. I pray that my mission will soon involve a trip to Guatemala to bring home my daughter.
The picture I have posted is so precious to me. The hand of a mother holding the hand of her daughter. The momma holds the child's hand so tenderly and yet open-palmed. It is the instrument of invitation and patience and of honoring the child's ability to "come" when she is ready. Palm touching palm. Nerve endings, like the Holy Spirit, firing impulses of heat and warmth and direction. They both feel the connection. They both long for the touch to never end.
Pray for our touch to never end. Pray Tuesday for the courtroom to filled with the Holy Spirit.
Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and enkindle in us the fire of your love.
Send forth your Spirit so that we may be created, and you will renew the face of the earth.
Oh God, by the light of the Holy Spirit, you instruct the hearts of the faithful,grant that by that same Holy Spirit, we may be truly wise and ever rejoice in His consolations, through that same Christ our Lord. Amen.

Lord Prepare Me

2010-05-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess you decided to check one more time to see if I would write anything:-) I am glad you did!! We have much to discuss, but I cannot possibly write it all down. Just know that God has been being "God" and He has been working with me, in me, and through me. Not an easy job, I tell you :-) This year started off very well, with a visit trip in January to Guatemala to see my daughter. I met with our attorney while there, and found out that we had a hearing scheduled that I didn't know about. Imagine my surprise as well as my delight!! Of course, when I found out that the hearing wasn't until May, I was a bit upset. What is a Momma to do but wait?? After the initial disappointment, I realized that a hearing was a good thing, even if I had to wait five months for it to happen. "Lord, prepare me" was a prayer I uttered. I needed prepared for the lengthy wait that stretched before me. I needed to be prepared for the calender to creep by as I waited. I asked the Lord for things to do while I waited so that the time would fly by!! WHEW!! He delivered! Nothing like back to back dance competitions in two different cities with a snow storm thrown in there to boot, then there was the updating of all of the powerpoints for my class I teach, and then there was Easter and a party for my daughter's 11th birthday. Then One son decided he wanted to move into an apartment...then a second son decided that his brother had a great idea!! Okaaaaay. Now I had to run around and find stuff for TWO apartments!! When they were both out, it was then that my daughter decided to "change rooms" which included re-painting walls and re-doing a bathroom to befit a true "tween"...oh, and Mom, can it be done BEFORE my party??? AHHHHH. Needless to say it all worked out, and then we breathed for a moment as we looked forward to the year end dance recital,which took place last weekend. All is quiet just in time for the official countdown to the hearing which will be next Tuesday. "Lord, prepare me for the last few days which will be the hardest of all." He has given me divine strength and encouragment. From everywhere He has placed before me a banquet of mercy, compassion, support, surprises, and rest. GOD IS AWESOME!!!! No doubt about it!! I have received EVERYTHING from my Lord! He has left NOTHING out. His grace has flowed in abundance, and He has drenched me with His Spirit.
Today I pray in thanksgiving for all He has done for me. I sing praise to my Lord and God who keeps all of His promises. I also pray, "Lord, prepare me...for the next step you want me to take. I know the hearing is looming in my future, but You know the outcome. If you are telling me ,"Do not let your heart be troubled", then I won't:-) These last four days could be spent in anxiousness or worry. The last four days could be spent in praise and worship. Hmmm. Praise and worship it is!!
Lord, Prepare me...

I Prefer a Chariot Ride

2010-04-06T18:53:00.000-07:00

I read today that the perspective we take with each trial truly makes a difference. If we view each trial as a "chariot", then we can either be run over by it or we can hop a ride and allow it to bring us closer to our Lord. The reading didn't say it was easy to hop a ride...what is worthwhile rarely is.
I have been pondering this today.
Thanks for listening.

A Looooooong Time

2010-03-29T09:56:00.001-07:00

Greetings my fellow bloggers. It has been a very long year since my last post. Maybe I will fill in the gaps, maybe I will not. Right now, I just want everyone reading to know we are still in-process in Guatemala with our adoption. Our daughter is still at the orphan care home where she has been for the past three years. We spent many, many months waiting on word of progress, and now we have a sliver of news. We are scheduled for a hearing on May 25th. What will be accomplished at this hearing we do not know. Maybe a lot, maybe nothing. We will have to wait on the Lord for whatever He will be doing on that day. (He has been working hard on our behalf all of this time...He must be tired!!) The Lord has done great things for me over the past three years of this adopton journey. He has drawn me closer to Him, and has shown me how to rely on only Him. He alone is trustworthy. He alone I need. He alone. Even though He knows that I only need Him, He continues to bless me with friends that uplift me every day. He even sends me a prophet once in awhile just to let me know that nothing will be impossible for Him :-) What a great God I have!!! A prophet!!! Just for ME!!!!! Gotta love that Father of mine :-) Awesome!

Witness Talk on Rest

2009-07-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

As you all know, the Bible is living. Every book, every chapter, and every verse are pregnant with meaning. The meaning is very unique to each reader. Not in the sense that the meaning is given BY the person reading it, but that the words themselves are full and overflowing with multiple portions of knowledge that fill us where we are empty. I am sure you all have experienced this phenomenon yourselves. One day you read a verse, and it speaks to you so powerfully and you are forever changed by the wisdom gained, and as time passes, you re-read the same passage only to find that there is more to what you read. There is “another take” on the same passage. A way to see it that you didn’t see before. Well, this happens to me often, and the most recent was with my very own Cursillo weekend verse. I will start with quoting it.
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.
When I attended my weekend, I did not think I needed this encounter. I didn’t feel it necessary. It was just something I did after John attended his weekend. It was a getaway, and John was encouraging me to go, so “why not”?
As I contemplated this verse that would represent my weekend, I was thinking that it had very little significance. I really wasn’t in need of rest. Things were going pretty good actually.
It was not until after the weekend was over that I realized my life was indeed in need of rest. I went through many changes and the Holy Spirit brought forth lots of dark areas in my life that I had pushed aside and left unresolved. As I navigated through the new waters with a fresh perspective, I knew that I had work ahead of me.
Things started happening all at once. There were conflicts under tough scrutiny by me. A true re-evaluation of my life and where it was supposed to be going. Was I truly where God wanted me to be? Was I doing what God wanted me to do? All of these questions and no answers equaled stress and no rest! I sat back and absorbed my special verse and indeed drew closer to Christ to give me the rest I craved. As I prayed for this rest, He sent me people to advise me and comfort me. He sent me prayer warriors to lift me up. He sent me solutions to problems that plagued me. He spoke to me and said “Come to Me”, and as I did just that, He poured out His mercy and grace on me. He poured out His loving kindness and covered me with the blanket of His love. I finally understood what He wanted from me. He wanted me to simply,”Come to Him”. To show up at His door. He had what I needed. He offered rest. I accepted His offer.
After this, I thought I had it figured out. I saw the reason I needed to be at Cursillo that weekend. I saw the need for me to learn to come to Christ. I thought about my future with Christ as I would no longer delay in coming to Him when the burdens of my life overwhelmed me. No longer would I go it alone. No longer would I not ask for rest when I felt I needed it. What a great verse I had discovered. What a great new perspective on dealing with the times when I felt life’s pressure burying me. I would just bring these troubles to my Lord, and He would make them go away for awhile. He would give me the break I needed to rest, before tackling whatever was pressing in on me. Thank you Christ for all of the rest you provided, as I learned more about You and your ways.
As we all know, not all burdens are created equal. Some are here for an hour, some a day, some a lifetime. As I have walked my path with Christ, I have been awakened to this truth. What happens when I need rest, but rest is not possible? I have found this to be so true in the case of our adoption. The ups and downs of our case. The seemingly endless waiting. The day in day out prayers for resolution. The tears, the sadness, the injustice, and the hole in my heart that is just the right size to fit in a tiny little 2 year old girl who waits to come home to her mommy. I know I have gone to Christ for rest during many times throughout these past years of waiting. How often Christ has listened to my whining and crying and mourning. How often has He dried my tears and sent me back out the door to continue walking the walk. How often has He held me for awhile, and then turned me around and said “GO”. It took several times of these encounters with Christ to see that He was treating me differently than He did before. I realized one day that He was not giving me the rest I thought I needed. I guess growing pains are felt just as keenly in spiritual growth as they are in physical growth!
Just a few days ago, Christ awakened in me a new truth about my Cursillo verse. He has been pulling me forward toward this for awhile. He allowed me to see a new meaning to the same words. A more grown-up meaning if you will. First, He still says,”Come to Me”, but not to have him make it all better. Not to have Him remove the burdens of my life, or allow me to sail over them. I need to come to Him to get direction, to let go of everything and commit it all to Him. The “rest” that Christ offers is not putting me to bed and holding my hand and singing me to sleep, but it is getting me out of bed, out of listlessness and exhaustion, and out of my condition of being half dead while I am still alive.(Quoted from My Utmost for His Highest). His rest will sustain me, causing me to stand firm.
I read the other day about two artists who were asked to draw a picture depicting rest. One drew a serene lake in a secluded spot. Free from all distraction. I could just picture this, and really relate to wanting to go there! The other drew a crashing waterfall with a tree standing next to it. In the tree was a bird’s nest, and in it a momma bird with her babies. When evaluated, the first artist’s rendering was determined not to be rest, but stagnation. The second drawing however, was true rest, rest that is not derived from the absence of activity. Hmmm. I am getting a new insight.
So often my circumstances are cause for chaos, not rest. I look for ways to engineer these circumstances so that they cause the least amount of chaos. I sometimes avoid or stop things just to make sure I don’t have certain circumstances to deal with. In my avoidance, I avoid God. I avoid His plans for me. I hinder His ability to orchestrate great things and true growth in me. Jesus never chose His circumstances either. He allowed God the Father to do this. He submitted to the Father’s plan and directions for Him. God made plans, and Jesus, regardless of the circumstances, carried them out. How did He do that???? How can I do this? I know my circumstances are real, and be that as it may, I must maintain complete reliance on God. I must be willing to risk all for His sake. I must trust Him. I must remember that He is with me always, and that He is aware of every circumstance surrounding me, even the ones that I am not aware of. I must remember that He always does what He says He’s going to do. Just like in the gospel of Mark. Jesus said,”Let us cross to the other side.” When the storm came, and the disciples woke Him, they were fearful of what might happen to them. Jesus rebuked them. He has rebuked me also for just this kind of fear. He tells me one thing, and then when all is not smooth sailing, I want to cry out and ask Him to make it stop! He told the disciples “Let us cross to the other side”. He did not tell them that they would “attempt” to cross to the other side. He did not tell them that they would smoothly sail to the other side. He did not tell them that they would cross to the middle and drown in a violent squall. He simply tells them “Let us cross to the other side.” He tells, we follow. No matter what happens in between, the end result will be the same. If Jesus says we are going to the other side, then we will go to the other side. The circumstances we encounter along the way are not of our concern. I must admit that in the storms of my life, I am guilty of looking skyward and shouting, ”A little help here, please!!” I think that what I may need to do is look skyward and shout, ”Now what?” After all, He tells, I follow. These are His circumstances, and He knows best how to deal with them. He was the one on the boat napping. He was completely at rest. He was unbothered by the wind and unflustered by the waves. I imagine He was getting a bit wet from the spray of the sea, yet He continued His rest. He knew who was in control. He dwelled not on anything else. If my focus is on Christ, I will fear not, and I will always be at rest.

The Vision

2009-05-08T07:33:00.000-07:00

"For the vision still has it's time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; If it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late."

This verse has brought me great comfort in the long wait to bring our daughter home. I remember the day I first was made aware of this verse. It meant so much to me, and has since been an icon of sorts for me. The words have been encouragement at times, and at other times they have been balm. Sometimes they were miraculous, and other times they seemed impossible to believe. Today they were given a different meaning. Isn't that just like the Bible? It is living and ever able to minister and teach us at every point in our lives.

A few days ago I read a a potent page in my daily devotional. It was asking the question, "What indeed, prevents me from really opening myself to the grace of my baptism and growing in my faith?" Then it went on to answer for me...very accurately I might add.
"FEAR OF LOSING SOME PART OF MY LIFE I BELIEVE IS ESSENTIAL."
Yep. That nailed it!! UGH!! I know I have been holding back from God, by holding on to my daughter who is not yet home. As much as I like to think she is essential to my life and my future happiness, she is not. This is a hard pill for me to swallow. I love her with all of my heart. I have allowed my love for her, my desire for her to be home, to crowd out what is truly essential in my life. Essential for my eternal life, and my life here and now. My true happiness, which is in Jesus Christ alone.
So what does this have to do with the verse above? Well, today I was awakened to a new perspective on the "vision" the verse mentions. No longer a vision of the completion of our adoption, but a much larger vision. A vision where my priorities are God first, God second, and God third, and so on until there is no one but God. He alone is essential. Over and over God must remove the obstacles in our lives that get in the way, and take His place. In the case of our adoption, I think that maybe God sees the withholding of our daughter's homecoming as necessary to bring me fully into the vision He has for me. I can now hear Him say,"For the vision still has it's time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late."

The Fruits of Our Labor

2009-04-27T09:45:00.001-07:00

I was sitting out on the deck last night catching up on reading my devotionals. I believe that some days when I do not get a chance to read my devotionals, it is because they will be best left unread until the time is right for the words that are written to have the most impact. That was most certainly the case last night. It was a peaceful night, the stars twinkling above, peeking at me through the canopy of trees that is above our back deck. I had several candles lit, and the sounds of nature filled the quiet night with peaceful, unobtrusive sound. The temperature could not have been more perfect, and I settled in the chair with the soft glow from the kitchen illuminating the page of my book. As I read the entry for April 26Th, from "Streams in the Desert", I was pulled into understanding of a truth that was elusive.

The glory of tomorrow is rooted in the drudgery of today.

As I looked around at the oasis I had created on my deck (with God's help of course), I was taken back to last week when I worked several hours on my hands and knees scrubbing the deck boards until all of the mold and grime from the past was removed, and only the bare boards remained. I worked tirelessly until all was done. Then I waited for a few days and went back to work painstakingly removing every single piece of debris that was lodged between all 58 cracks between the deck planks. I used a one and a half inch flat putty knife and a rubber mallet to inch my way along the lines until all was clear, and every last piece of broken acorn shell, and every last twig, and every last wayward dried leaf stem was removed and no longer an obstacle to my next step which was staining. I found my brush, and on my hands and knees, started the process of applying the stain that would transform the weathered old boards into a beautiful floor. As I brushed each stroke, and saw the promise of what would be I could not help but allow excitement to quicken the beat of my heart. As I moved along, my daughter Kelly came out to work beside me, and her determination to meet my strokes was heartwarming. She was there beside me to cheer me on, and to do her part and share the burden of the work. Then Wubby returned from the ball fields where he had been umpiring for the past five hours, to change his clothes and pitch in to complete the project. Wow. When we were finished, I could hardly wait for the next day, the 24 hour drying time, to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Kelly and I took what energy we had left and put it into planting the flowers we had purchased earlier that day, so that as soon as the deck was dry, we would be able to assemble our summer oasis. Before starting all of the work, I could only see the drudgery, and hard work that stretched out ahead of me. I knew of the faint glimmer of hope that it would be a wonderful work when finished, but getting to that "wonderful" was going to involve lots of sweat and sore muscles. Drudgery, for sure. This drudgery gave way to the glory of the finished project. No longer just a deck off of the kitchen, but a place of shade and refreshment. A place to lounge, or chat, or read and sip iced tea or coffee. A place where I can gaze around at the colors of summer, and smell the fragrance of flowers in the air. A place to lean back, and to gaze upward at God, and thank Him for the drudgery, and tell Him that I would do it all again, although He already knows that I would.
I cannot help but realize the similarities between this work and the work we have put into bringing our daughter home. At times there has been such drudgery. But I will keep reminding myself, "The glory of tomorrow is rooted in the drudgery of today."

Easter

2009-04-27T09:30:00.001-07:00

We grabbed the camera and took a couple of shots before the kiddos changed their clothes. There is even one of me and the Wubby :-) This was the first Easter that our oldest son was not with us. It was very strange and sad and ,well, a milestone of sorts. He is growing up as are all of my children, and I will cherish all the times we do have together. It is a time in my life that I knew would one day come, and as I turn the page in this chapter of my life book, I know I will always go back and re-read my thoughts to remember what details I can of the childhood that I was able to give to my children. My youngest son graduates from high school next month, and I realize that for all of the struggles we all go through as parents, one common goal is to see them through graduating from high school. I feel so blessed to have gotten them this far, and know that it is only by the grace and mercy of God that we are here today. Thank you Jesus for being my constant companion as I mothered these beautiful lives you have given into my care. They are your children, and I ask that you bless them and keep them safe from all harm. Guide them in your ways, and use me in whatever way you need to to accomplish your work in them.
Amen.

Baby Shower

2009-04-27T08:42:00.001-07:00

Okay, Okay, I know you all have been faithfully visiting only to find that I was not home. I apologize. I am here now, and will give you some updates on what I have been doing. First of all, a few weeks ago my sweet friend Krissy hosted a baby shower in honor of me and our sweet daughter we continue to wait for, and the proceeds went to Hannah's Hope Guatemala, the orphan care home where our daughter resides. Krissy has such a heart for adoption, and will indeed one day be bringing her very own child home. Did I mention she has four beautiful children already, and her heart is making room for more!! Gotta love her, she is amazing!!
The picture is of the cake that was home made by my friend Jeni, and she even hand made the edible chocolate sea shells on top!! Delicious!! Our theme was "The Starfish Story" , and we had a wonderful turnout!! We collected about $700 in cash, and 50 pounds of relief supplies to be delivered to Hannah's Hope!! Thank you everyone who made this day so very special for me and for the children who make their home at HH, and who depend on the body of Christ, you and me, to provide for their every need.
I love you all so very much.
Peace and Blessings,
Robin

Longing.....

2009-03-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

Good Morning out there!!
I have been trying to update this blog of mine for a few days, and finally have a minute to do so. I will probably need to make two entries, but we'll see ;-)
First of all, I want to put your minds at ease. We have heard absolutely nothing in the past 30 days about our case. Nada. Zip. Our wait continues...
Now on to my title of this post...LONGING. I once read a statement that said, "Stop longing, and start living." Those words meant a lot to me at the time. I took them to heart, and picked myself up off of the floor, and swept the "poor me" attitude out of my head. I started living day by day, in the here and now, keeping my longing at bay. That worked very well for me. It helped me tremendously when I needed to be present in the present.
Then there is the elapsed time...we come to today. Here I am still living in the present( for the most part), very hopeful of the future, and WHAM!!! I was reading a reflection from St. Jude. (I just love St. Jude. He is such a powerful patron saint, and friend of Jesus. I love how he talks with Jesus, and reminds Him of all I keep praying about. You see, I pray, then I put St. Jude on the job of pestering Jesus about answering my prayers. Jesus loves His friend, and will honor that friendship. It is a win/win situation :-) That is my secret!! Oh, of course I always involve The Blessed Mother Mary, too. After all, God the Father told us to "Honor thy Mother and they Father" , so if Mother Mary is asking Jesus to do something, He, as her son, very well cannot refuse to honor her!! I just keep reminding Jesus in my prayers that His Mother needs to talk with Him about me :-)
Anyway...on to what I read today about longing.

Day 29 -- March 25th

We take a moment this twenty-ninth day of Lent to reflect with contrition and resolve:

Accept your longings. Know that the desires of the heart are always with us, and we must learn to live with them in peace. With the changing of the seasons comes renewed hope.

Please send your special intentions for Lent to the National Shrine of St. Jude today.

OK, so now I have to live with my longings, not stop them??? As I reflected on this, I realized that that is just what I am doing. My longing to bring my daughter home is always with me, however, I have learned to live in peace with this longing. Until she is under my roof, I will have this longing. It is not going anywhere. It will one day be replaced with other longings. Not longings for her presence, because she will be here with me, but new longings for the fulfillment of the wonderful life that God has planned for her.

Marching On

2009-03-07T14:48:00.001-08:00

Encouragement.
I love to get and give it, so I will share some with you today.

A verse from Hebrews 3:14. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly til the end the confidence we had at first.

I pondered this over and over. I thought about the confidence I had in the beginning of our adoption process. I had LOADS of it. I started with such a sureness of heart and mind. I JUST KNEW the end result. A negative thought never crossed my mind. Why? Hmmm. I wonder why I felt that way? I answered myself. It was because of my communion with my Lord. He was guiding me. He was showing me the path He wanted me to go. He was dispelling all doubt and fear. WOW!!

What changed? Not my mind. Circumstances? They are always changing, aren't they? True there were ups and downs. There have been delays, and more delays, and obstacles, and shut-downs,and missed milestones and fingerprint renewals, and death itself even touched our lives. What about HIS mind? None of these things have changed His mind either. Did I hear His voice in the beginning? YES I DID! Do I still hear His voice? YES I DO! What do I think He is saying to me right now? He is saying, "The greatest challenge in receiving great things from God is holding on for the last half hour."
I really feel like this is the "last half hour".

I know I have walked the breadth of many valleys during this journey to my daughter. There have been many mountain top experiences too! There have been pictures and videos of the sweetest little girl in Guatemala. There were two times that I treasure the most, the times that I was actually with this precious daughter of mine, and was able to hold her close, and permeate as much love to her as I possible could. That miraculous day last summer when our case worker called to tell us our adoption could continue!! If that wasn't the Lord opening a door someone else tried to close, I don't know what is!! The Lord has been faithful to me. He has never once told me to quit. He has always kept us on track. He has never failed us, not once. My confidence that overflowed in the beginning is back in abundance!! The Lord is faithful, and will complete this wonderful work He has begun.

Week in Review

2009-02-25T09:32:00.000-08:00

My Dear Friends,
Thank you for visiting my little corner of the world :-) I must say, that the Lord has been sending me many blessings lately!! Thank you Jesus!!
I have a lot to share with you, so sit back with your favorite beverage and catch up with me as I review the encouragement and power God has shown this past week.

Tuesday, Feb 17th:
From my devotional Streams in the Desert came the words, "Lift up your head and begin praising Him right now for the deliverance that is on its way to you!"
Now, I obeyed this command, and deliverance came the next day!
The reading for the day from Genesis 7:11 ...in the second month, on the 17th day of the month: it was on that day that All the fountains of the great abyss burst forth, and the floodgates of the sky were opened.
Hmmmm, the second month (Feb for us) the 17th day...that is TODAY!! God's word/promise to Noah was fulfilled on this day. I will wait in joyful expectation to see what my Lord is going to do today in my life!

Wednesday, Feb. 18th:
Streams again: Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.(Mark 11:24) Jesus says, "Get up and lets go on to the next thing."
Now, today Wubby and I had a conference call with our lawyer in Guatemala and with our case worker. Basically, the judge in Minor's Court who is handling our case gave permission to our lawyer to submit our request for permission to sign the final adoption decree. This has to be signed by the Mandatory because of our birthmother's untimely death. Judge #2 will review our case a final time, and come back with a decision on whether or not our home is the place Y will spend the rest of her life.
We were told that on average, it takes 1-3 months for a decision to be rendered. We, of course, are praying for a speedy decision if God will permit it:-)
I guess we are "getting up and going on to the next thing."

Thursday Feb 19th:
This is the 6th day of prayer for the St. Jude Novena I am praying. St. Jude has always interceded on my behalf to our Lord Jesus. St. Jude is a very powerful intercessor!! He always brings speedy help. Thank you St. Jude!! Every time I have prayed this novena, we get movement in our case!!

Friday Feb 20th:
A reading for today Psalm 33:11
...the plan of the Lord stands forever.

Saturday Feb. 21st:
From Streams: God's promise is equal to His presence. His purpose in waiting is to receive more glory through it.
My thoughts on this:
The beginning of this adoption was about a desire placed in my heart. That desire, I truly believe, was placed there by God. Then somehow, I took over. It became "my" adoption. I was taking full credit for this. As the months and years have passed, as I have waited for "the vision to have its time", God has humbled me and disciplined me. He has shown me that the only part of this I have had any control over was my "yes" to His calling. After that, no credit is mine. No paper filled out, no fingerprint taken, no overnighted mailings, not the selection of us by our birthmother, not PGN approval, nor even the letter written to the judge. All of these things are the property of my Lord. HE has done a great work. HE has a divine plan that is, well, divine. My part is to be obedient, to say "yes". No credit for me. Don't need it, don't want it, didn't earn it. The credit all goes to Him. This isn't about me. It is all about Him!
Now, the judge that has our file is supposed to be very hard. I smile at that today. Why, you may ask? Because it isn't about her either. The harder she is perceived to be, the more glory my Lord will get when she says "yes"!!

Sunday Feb 22nd:
Streams: ...Everything is possible for him who believes.

Psalm 37:5 "
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this."

My personal prayer today:
Jesus, thank you for my waiting.Thank you for the closeness we share.Thank you for showing me more and more of your heart. Thank you for helping me see you in the details. Thank you for reminding me to share these things with others, so that they may see too, and so that they will seek you in the details of their lives.
Jesus help me as I raise Y. Help me to be the best mother to her that I can be. Be my guide and my strength as she grows up and develops her relationship of love and trust in you. Help me to show her how much she can depend upon you to answer all of the questions she may have. Help me to bring her to you, where she will find love, peace, comfort, wisdom, healing, and so many other graces that you have waiting for her. We are all so blessed to have such a loving, caring, personal God. You care about every detail, and I am humbled by the fact that you care so much for me.I love you Jesus. Amen.

Monday Feb. 23rd:
Today the paperwork will be submitted to Judge #2 in Minor's Court. My vision for our lawyer is of her surrounded by a legion of angels. They are protecting her, and the very important paperwork she carries. Her path will be straight and not a single pebble will cause her to stumble. Not a single obstacle will cause her to delay. The judge in Minor's Court is waiting...the Judge of Heaven and Earth is in control. "Lord, your will be done."

Streams: And there came a lion.
Every difficulty and temptation that comes our way, if we receive it correctly, is God's opportunity.
This passage reminded me of Daniel and the lion's den. Very significant to me today because of Y's middle name....cryptic I know :-) God protected Daniel, and shut the mouths of the lions. He will do the same for the lion's who prowl around ready to devour Y!!!

Tuesday Feb. 24th:
Psalm 37:4 Find your delight in the Lord who will give you your heart's desires.
A reflection on this verse from the Living Faith magazine: God never forgets the desires of our heart; after all, He put them there in the first place.
Mark 9:37
"Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me."

Just wanted to share a tidbit of encouragement I got today. Wubby, Summer Rain, and I were discussing Y's name last night and the ability to pronounce it correctly and pronounce it the same every time we say it. We really don't do this very well. So we thought about others, and her life here with a name that no one will have an easy time with. We don't want her to experience that stress. So, we were talking about her middle name. Pretty easy to pronounce and pretty much everyone will get it right. No stress! We can still keep the name her birthmother gave her, but use her middle name. My oldest son goes by his middle name, so she won't be the only one in the family that does this. Now for the encouragement part... I was praying on and off today about "Judge #2" and our case. For some reason I felt the need to look up this new name we might be calling Y by. I searched name meanings and there in black and white were the words: ******* means God is my judge. Sorry Judge #2, but there is another Judge, THE Judge, that will be handling our case!

Wednesday Feb. 25th:
2Corinthians 5:20-6:2:
...Working together, then, we appeal to you not to receive the Grace of God in vain. For He says,"In an acceptable time I heard you, and on the day of salvation I helped you." Behold, now is a very acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.

I am pondering these words, and wondering what my Lord is doing now!!

I received an e-mail from my case worker. Our paperwork got submitted on Monday as it was supposed to!! YEAH!!

Well,
I hope you were able to "stay awake" with me for this hour :-)
Peace and Blessing be with you all

Growing up too fast!

2009-02-19T14:22:00.000-08:00

This picture of Summer Rain was taken the night of the Indian Princess father/daughter dance last Friday night(before she left). She was so lovely in her pink dress! I cannot believe how big she is getting to be. It seems like only yesterday my baby was a baby!! She had fun wearing "real" lipstick and dancing the night away with her Dadda.
Ahh, these moments are priceless:-)

My Angel

2009-02-12T13:39:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon! I am finally able to sit for a moment and write about my trip home. Friday morning was pretty much as usual, with the exception of the gnawing feeling in my gut that I had to leave Guatemala that day...and without my sweet Y! I kept tears at bay by busying myself in the mundane tasks before me such as re-packing all of the things I had unpacked, and preparing for travel. Suitcases:CHECK! Carry-on bag: CHECK! Passport:CHECK! Itinerary:CHECK! Daughter:Oh no....hear come the tears:-(
Ah well, I am sure you can imagine my sadness that day.
On the way home, during the first leg of the trip,on the plane, I was seated next to a young gentleman who spoke no English. I think it prudent to tell you all that for days before traveling, I prayed for this individual. Not for this particular man, because I do not know him, but for the person who would get the "duty" of sitting beside me on the plane ride home after having to leave my daughter there. This young man was the perfect stranger. He spoke not a word, just smiled when appropriate, and never as much as brushed my elbow during the whole flight. I thought I would want to talk the whole way back, but I didn't, and so he really was just what I needed. When the flight was almost over, and as I was contemplating my week with Y, I kept talking with God about His message to me. I just KNEW He was going to tell me some very important message on this trip. I had expected it. I had waited for it. Nothing. Silence. Now, don't misunderstand. I loved every minute of my time with Y. I believe with my whole heart that I was supposed to be with her that week, and that I was supposed to be alone on this trip.But I ALSO believed He would send me news. Something. Hmmmmm. I asked God,"What's up with not giving me a message?" As I pondered this question, I noticed movement in the stranger next to me. He pulled out a very small, black leather covered miniature Bible. I took a closer look. Yes, it was indeed a Bible. Very tiny, but a Bible none the less. The red satin ribbon that was attached at the spine was shredded from use, and the pages were flared from many a fingers flipping through the well read pages. The stranger rested his hands, and found the place he wanted to read from. That was when I noticed the title of the book from which he read! I was in shock. I barely breathed. My mouth dropped open, and my eyes teared up. My hand took on a life of its own as I reached across him to touch the book title, and the very chapter and verse that I recognized from many a time reading and re-reading it to give myself and others comfort and encouragement. It was the very place that every morning I would flip to in my own Bible at home. It was marked in my Bible with a very favorite bookmark. It was Habakkuk 2:3 "For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; If it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late."
The word angel means messenger of God. This angel was sent to sit by me and deliver the very words of God from God's own book, to me. When we exited the plane, the man disappeared. I did not see him in line at immigration. I did not see him in line at customs. I saw everyone else from the plane, but not him.

Firsts, Lasts, and Breakthroughs

2009-02-05T19:25:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am again updating you all on this adventure I am on. Today has been filled with wonder and sadness. Lets talk about the wonder!! Firsts today: Y spoke a few words in English! They were purple, light, cat, and playdoh. She didn't want to leave my room when it was time for our one on one to be over. SHE wanted ME to hold her hand going down the stairs after eating dinner. Lasts: I kissed her goodnight for the last time this week. I rocked her for the last time this week. I had her all alone for the last time this week. I put on her pajamas for the last time this week. I played with her hair..well, I will get to do that a little tomorrow.
OK. Now I must tell you about the breakthroughs. Of course one was when she wanted me to hold her hand going down stairs. Another is her not wanting to leave my room to go back to hers. The other I must tell the whole story.
After Y's bath tonight, I put her into her crib with a bottle. She drinks the bottle and when she is done, she gives it to me to put away...this is just the way they do things. I held out my hands to her and asked her if she wanted to rock with me while she took her bottle. She said no, so I leaned over the crib as she drank and caressed her head and hair as I looked into her eyes as much as she would connect, then I just sat in the rocking chair next to her crib and smiled at her. She finished her bottle and stood up to give it to me. I took it and put it in the bin. She held up her arms to get out, and I thought she wanted to rock. I got her out, and she wanted to just get down. I let her get down and she ran about for a little while until it was time for bed. At that time, I scooped her up and asked her again if she wanted to rock...can you see how much I wanted to rock her??? She said No, and so I put her in her crib. She ran as far away from me as she could, to the far corner of her crib. She had the best pouty face on!! I had to turn away to keep from smiling at her. As I sat there and rocked myself, I wasn't about to leave yet, the little girl in the crib opposite of Y started to take off her pajama bottoms. I called to her and told her not to take off her clothes. Well, when Y heard me she started to take off her top. She was struggling with the first sleeve when I caught her. I said No. No take off your pajamas, Y. No. She looked at me and pouted out that lip and said NO! I just gave her that Momma said no look that we all have, and she immediately started putting her hand back through the sleeve. I praised her, smiled at her and said Mui Bien Y. She immediately ran over to my side of her crib, I held out my hands to her as I was still sitting down, and she grabbed my right hand, squeezing it tight, brought it to her sweet face and laid her head in my palm. She smiled into my eyes. She was so happy to please her momma! She knew I loved her, and she didn't want to jeopardize that love. I cried instantly! Then the little precious daughter of mine held out her tiny arms to me. I picked her up, and sat down in the rocking chair. So soon, she was fast asleep against my chest. I cried silent tears so as not to wake her. They streamed down my cheeks. She knows I am her momma. God is good! I gently laid her in her crib, and was walking out of the room. The little boy in the crib next to hers reached through the slats and pulled her hair just enough to wake her up. She looked around and gave a whimper. The special mother there told her that I was leaving, and Y cried for me to come back. I practically ran over to her with a big smile on my face. After all,my daughter needed me. As soon as she saw me, she whined no more, and I reached in to her crib and petted her and ran my fingers through her hair until she was content. I kissed her goodnight. It was the best ending today could have ever had.

Thursday Already???

2009-02-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

Hola my friends!
I am still here enjoying this lovely time. I wish you were all here with me. You see, there are so many children to hold and to love that it seems impossible for me to get to every one enough times in a day. My heart bleeds for these little ones who may never have homes of their own. Their eyes cry out for attention and their arms reach high for someone to pick them up. The reward? Lets just say that I have seen the face of God and lived! These children are the very face of God. No doubt about it.
My little sweetie is a wonder. She is so very smart and independent. She doesn't like to rely on anyone. She does ask for help if she cannot do the task, but she never asks before trying hard for herself first.I love the way she holds up her hands in the air about to the level of her ears and says,"TAH" when she does something. We say Ta-Da. When she wants to show me she has finished the bite she has in her mouth she opens wide and shows me it is all gone!! Like my sweet Summer Rain, Y also pays very close attention to details. Nothing gets past her eyes!!LOL! She loves to jump and run and ride and play ball. Not a girly girl this one. Oh so beautiful!! The Wubby will have his hands full with his two daughters when they start to date!!LOL!!
My days are filled with her smile and my nights are filled with longing to bring her home. It feels so right to be here with her, yet it feels so wrong to leave without her. She will come bravely one day, but we will have a long road to build trust. She is old enough now, that she has seen so many of her little friends leave, and not come back. That is good for them, but for Y it seems a terrible thing. She has a good life here, but she needs a family and a home of her own. She doesn't understand that she will have an even more wonderful life when she comes to our family. Here she has nothing that is hers. There is no ownership of anything. Not a single toy, not a single shirt, not a shoe nor a sock. Most importantly, not a mother or a father. The Special Mothers here are incredible women. They truly are, but they are not the mothers of these little ones, they share their love while they are here, but they go home to families, and someone else steps in. Y doesn't realize that these women are not hers. I am hers. One day she will know that, and so much more. I will have to sit with her for many nights and comfort her. We have to build our relationship. I will tell her all about her life here, and her birthmother. I will see saddness beyond belief in her eyes, and it will be my job to help her deal with all of her pain. I cannot erase what has been, but I can assure her of comfort, understanding, and love. I know I can count on our Father to lead me in the way to reach out to Y and help her. He knows the secret to unlocking her trust. He will whisper that way to me. I am counting on it!

24 Hours

2009-02-03T11:10:00.000-08:00

Hola my blogging friends!
I hope you are all having a great day! The weather is very nice here in Guatemala. I will miss it when I go home on Friday.
Let me see. Yesterday was very exhausting. I hardly slept a wink Sunday night...imagine that!!LOL! A very chatty gentleman on the first leg of the trip meant no nap for me. I did catch a few winks between Atlanta and here. As soon as I got to Hannah's Hope, I went straight for my little sweetie. Ahhhhh! She is more precious than all of her pictures. She is such a tiny thing. Very bright and very curious. She saw me and put out that little pouty lip, but did not cry a tear. I was so proud of her courage. After about 20 minutes, she was playing with me. Funny, but a pack of tissues broke the ice. I pulled them out of my purse to wipe her nose, and she held out her little hand for them. I gave them to her, and the rest was tissue history!LOL! She wiped my nose, she wiped her nose, she tore bits and pieces off, and we rolled them up and blew them in to the air. That was when I was rewarded with the deep belly laughs that warmed my heart and soul!! Laughter is laughter in any language!!
I really didn't want to put her down last night. We had connected a bit, and I knew we would have to start all over again in the morning. I was right. Oh she remembered me this morning as I walked into her bedroom. I flashed her a big smile and she screamed at the top of her lungs! So much for progress! I had my work cut out for me. She is VERY attached to her special mothers, and that is truly a great thing. It means good things down the road as far as attachment to us goes. But for now, it sure hurts my heart to see fear and untrust in her eyes when she looks at me. Anyway, I had a distraction. The little boy in the crib next to hers was chomping at the bit for me to pick him up...arms reaching out and the whole bit!! Go figure!! So I stayed in the room, and play with him and the other little girl in the thrid crib. They both wanted to be held and cuddled and played with. Finally Y laughed and joined in, but she still wasn't too sure she was going to let me hold her. I took three of them up the stairs, all very good stair climbers, and to breakfast at their little table. They had french toast. Y doesn't eat very fast, but she did eat it all. We played with a purse and some stickers, and then it was her bath time. I played with her during her bath, and then took her over to the guesthouse for some one on one. She had that same scared look, but soon was ok as I picked her out a new outfit to wear, and gave her some new toys. I had brought bribes, you see, to make her want to play with me!!LOL! She is very smart! She let me cuddle her and read to her and most importantly, I just got to sit back and enjoy watching her play. I tell ya, when she looks up from what she is concentrating on, and flashes you a genuine smile.....your heart just melts away! Her eyes sparkle all the way to her soul!
Well, she is napping right now. I will go pick her up in a bit. I am sure I will have to start all over again to win her back into my arms. It is SO worth it!
Adios and keep praying for good news while I am here!

What to pack??

2009-01-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

Good morning my friendly blog people! I love that anyone reads this crazy stuff that pours forth from my fingertips onto the keyboard, and eventually ends up "out there"!! (Obviously I am not very technical...:-)
Okay, I am leaving in less than 48 hours to fly to Guatemala(alone) to see my toddler daughter . I think I have everything I need. I have clothes to wear, toiletries small enough to please the airport people, and even a whole slew of donations for Hannah's Hope (the orphan care home where our daughter lives). I also am bringing new clothes for my little sweetie, and new shoes, and toys, and a toothbrush, and Gerber Puffs(as a bribe to get her to play with me!!LOL!)I hope it works!
As I have been collecting all of the necessary things to take, I have been reflecting on the trip itself. It has reminded me of a story I read in school a long time ago. It was called "All Summer in a Day". That story has stuck with me for quite a long time. The connection? Well, in the story, the people live on the planet Venus, and the sun only comes out for an hour every 7 years. That is how I feel about this time I have been gifted with. I will spend an actual week, yet a lifetime, with my daughter. I will soak in her light every second that I am with her. I will bask in the warmth of our embraces. I will delight in the seemingly stolen moments that will be ours. I do not know when we will be together again, so I must treasure this very special time. I must look deep into her eyes with the "I love you" look, in hopes that she will see and remember. I must be very careful not to let the memories fade from my mind, or let any time escape while I am there without filling it with much meaning. I have been gifted with this time. I will slowly unwrap this precious gift, and give thanks to my God for allowing me to have it. God is good...all the time:-)

2009

2009-01-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!
I think it is about time to update this old blog of mine. Well, Christmas was wonderful, albeit a bit sad missing our sweet Guatemalan princess. The lack of her presence was magnified by her stocking hanging quietly without little hands reaching for it to see what prizes were inside. Her little gift nestled under the tree, and no big brown eyes searching for it. Finally, when all else was opened, and the floor littered with discarded wrapping paper, her brightly wrapped gift called to our hearts. Summer Rain asked if she could open the gifts for Y. She sweetly unwrapped, and emptied the stocking as we all sighed at the heart-wrenching reality that Y was not present for her presents.
Then came her birthday. We had a little cake and placed her picture beside it for a picture of her with her cake. We sang "Happy Birthday" and Summer Rain blew out the two pink candles shining brightly in the darkened room. I don't know what Y wished for that day, or even if Summer Rain wished something for her, but I know I wished for a whole lot on those two little candles!! One wish is coming true very soon!! I asked permission to go on a visit trip to Guatemala the first week in February. My wish was granted!!! I will be there for a whole week! Just me. Just my girl. I cannot wait to hold her tight! It will be heartbreaking leaving on Friday to come home without her. I am trusting the Lord to get me through that....and asking that He place just the right person next to me on the plane coming home!!LOL!
We have heard no new news as of yet. I am waiting in expectant hope for news soon!!
I cannot wait to post all about my visit trip. It will be so good to be at HH again. I will be staying in their guesthouse, and so I can spend lots of time with Y.
Jesus keeps calling back to me, and telling me to keep going. Without Him, I would be nothing. He has had to pick me up from the floor, dust me off, and remind me that anxiety is about lack of faith. I have learned more this year about my faith than I can even comprehend. The lessons have been "tough-love". "Thank you Jesus for caring enough about me to show me myself." I needed it! Didn't ask for, didn't particularly want it, but I needed it!
That is all for now. I will try to write more later:-)
Peace and Blessings to all!

Christmas Card picture for this year

2008-12-05T14:45:00.001-08:00

Well, it was a job that had to be done. Wubby went upstairs, walked carefully into each boy's room, and gently roused them on Sunday morning. Their little eyes still half closed in sleep blinked to clear away the dreams they were having. Daddy asked them to come downstairs for a quick Christmas picture around the tree....oh, and be showered and dressed when you get there!!

What????

TeeHee! Believe it or not, half an hour later we had all four children posed for this pic(we did tell them they did not have to "dress up")...all were clean and smellin' good :-)What good sports they were! I just love these kiddos! My life has been enriched beyond measure since having them. Thank you Jesus for the gift of my children.

Advent...the coming.

2008-12-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent. This season marks the beginning of our Liturgical year, and it is a time of waiting for Christ to come into our lives. We wait with expectant hope. After all, that is the ONLY way we should wait.
I must remind myself to keep the focus on Christ, and His coming. We know we are remembering His birth at this time, and we wait for His time to come again in glory.
I cannot help but note the similarities in this waiting. As I wait for our daughter from Guatemala, I also wait in expectant hope. We are adopted sons and daughters of God, as she will be the adopted daughter belonging to her new family....she is already a member of His divine family. I humbly pray that I may not allow my wait for her to overshadow my wait for Him.
As I contemplate Christ and His humble entrance into this world as a helpless baby, may I be reminded that Christ exalts the humble. May I be reminded of all of my blessings, and of all of those less fortunate. May I see His face in the poor, and the defenceless. In the arrogant and in the angry. In the rich and in the reproachful. May I know that it is not my place to judge, and that I am called to love as Christ loved.

Judgement Day

2008-11-17T09:50:00.001-08:00

Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. (Luke 18: 6-8)

This scripture passage came to me this morning in a devotional I was reading. It was very timely(thank you Jesus!), as on Saturday morning as Wubby and I were praying and reading, the parable of the persistent widow came up in our daily readings. As we discussed the need to pray without ceasing concerning bringing our daughter home from Guatemala, we also realized that sometimes praying in "thought" just isn't enough. We needed to pray in "action"!! We are taking this to the next level, and we feel very empowered by the Holy Spirit. We feel now is a time of movement, not passivity. We continue our fervent prayers and we are turning up the heat as we strike the match again and again until we have a roaring flame ignited that will reach far away into the heart of the judge that feels he is in control. We are praying for his submission to the will of God, and for a just decision to be rendered...NOW! We will be relentless in our efforts to thwart the plans of the enemy, and will plague the Heavens with persistent prayer until a decision will be made. We know who is truly in control...God! I have commanded Satan back to Hell in Jesus' name, and will not allow him to devour this tiny soul.

Please pray with me!!

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-01T14:04:00.001-07:00

Every year my husband's office decorates for Halloween. Other bays join in, and there is a contest at the end for the best design. Summer Rain loves to go, and she gets enough candy to not go out later...but that doesn't stop her from trick-or-treating later..no,no,no :-) This year Wubby grew a goatee and moustache and transformed into "Shaggy" from Scooby-Doo! They all did a great job with costumes, and everyone had a great time!

Thanksgiving in October?

2008-11-01T13:40:00.001-07:00

I didn't think it was possible. It was definitly handcrafted by God. :-) Last Sunday evening as I was cooking dinner, it dawned on me that our middle son had not left to go back to college. Hmmmm. His girlfriend was still there, too. Then I realized that our firstborn son was also home, and with his girlfriend no less! Our dear daughter was there as usual, and I made a quick phone call to get son #3 home from a friend's house as well. The wheels were turning very quickly in this brain of mine. Suddenly I started cooking even more!!! There was homemade beef stew, chicken and dumplings, mashed potatoes, baked beans, white gravy with peppercorns, fresh bread, and brownies hot out of the oven! I also brewed up my special sweet tea, which they can only get at home! A feast for sure!! We all sat down to eat together, and the laughter and smiles that accompanied the meal nourished our souls as much as the food nourished our bodies. Funny, but just the night before, Wubby had asked me what truly made me happy. I told him I was truly happy when our whole family got together and shared a meal. God was listening, and "overnighted" me an answer to a prayer!! Thank you Jesus!!

Another Shower Story

2008-10-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, I admit this title was a bit misleading. We were not given another shower.... this story starts out with me in the shower. TMI????? Sorry about the visual this might leave with you all, but this story must be typed :-) Any hoo.....last week, Wednesday to be exact, I had my small group sharing with my Cursillo women(at 6:15 AM), and came home to do my daily reflections and bible readings, and intercessory prayers. After all of this, it was time for a nice hot shower. So far, so good. Well, in the middle of my shower, I felt the overwhelming need to be on my knees in prayer for our adoption. I hit the shower floor, and prayed until the water was getting cold! I stood up, got out of the shower, and proceeded to dry, dress, and get ready for the day. After I got dressed, I went to check the answering machine for any calls while I was indisposed, and sure enough there was that blinking red light to signal I had indeed missed a call while showering. Not to curious, I went to see who called. I figured it was Wubby saying he was on his way home for lunch, but was very much surprised to hear our case worker on the machine instead!! She asked me to call her back. I was VERY shaky when I dialed her back. I have had so many ups and downs on this journey, that I really didn't know if I wanted to know what she had to tell me. When she answered the phone, she gave me renewed hope in the form of a story about the Lord using people when they are unaware of it. A lawyer, a legal assistant, a small, beautiful child, and a story that only our Lord could craft. We have a break in our case! That news is simply overwhelming!!! We are headed for RENAP for our daughter's birth certificate!!! Yes, we have snatched the file from the very hands of the enemy, and are heading to the promised land :-) I really need a force of prayer warriors(and I know where to find them!!), to be sure we do not get kicked out of RENAP. If we get through this with her BC, she could be home for Christmas!!!!! My heart proclaims the Glory of the Lord!!! He has done this! He and He alone!!! He has used His mighty power to show us He is Lord!! I humbly bow my head to Him, and ask for His blessing and His mercy. Thank you Jesus! Amen!

Weather Forecast

2008-10-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a meeting at work. Nothing too important, just the usual updates and a viewing of the new power points that we will be using in some of our classes.
I was running a bit behind in getting there, traffic was slow, etc... I didn't check the weather forecast before I left the house. Maybe I should have, but in retrospect, it would not have prepared me for the SHOWER I was about to run in to!! That's right! The wonderful ladies that I work with and around threw me a VERY unexpected toddler shower for our sweet Guatemalan princess!! I was reduced to tears! The decorations were so sweet, the food was delicious, and the cake was amazing!! But most beautiful was the prayer that was said to bless the food, and in thanksgiving for this opportunity to bring home our daughter in God's time, and to call to mind our Lord and His love for us!! Thank you ladies for the wonderful day!!
It could not have possibly come at a more needed time. Sometimes when the wait gets long, and the distance between me and my daughter seems more than just a plane ride away, I am in need of God's little pick-me-ups! This was a REALLY BIG pick-me-up!!! Thank you Jesus!!!
I prayed this morning to thank Him again for yesterday. I also asked Him if I could spend the "gift" , or should I wait a little bit longer. He promptly gave me the "go-ahead" to be a good steward of the gift I had received! Thank you Jesus for retail therapy!! :-) This Momma's goin' shopping!!

Fall

2008-10-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

Summer Rain and a friend were helping me decorate for Fall. Basically, a trip into the attic for me, and a hallway upstairs littered with the remnants of boxes and tissue paper that held the treasures they were seeking. (Hmmmm. I wonder who's gonna havta clean THAT up??) They put out this cute display with the help of our sweet kitties. Samson is the gray kitty, and Charley is the black kitty. Both felines have since "rearranged" the display at will. I guess they haven't gotten it just right yet :-)

Shoes???

2008-10-09T11:43:00.001-07:00

Sorry this shot is a bit blurry, but I find this most interesting. Our youngest son loves "different" things. He is very comfortable in his own skin, and will wear whatever suits him...including a three piece suit and tie to school on any given day. He loves hats of all kinds, and his taste in clothing spills over to his shoe selection. For example, when buying shoes for school this year, he went to a Converse website, that allows you to design your own shoes. He choose low-tops with a special design/fabric on the inside, and black leather on one side and white leather on the other. Think bowling shoes. Guess I should have taken a pic of those too!LOL! Anyhoo, these are his latest find. They are climbing shoes. They have a rubber sole, and each toe gets a special little toe shoe area separate from the toe next to it :-) They even have special socks that can be worn with the shoes....of course those were a must have, too! He rarely wears the socks, though. He is allowed to wear them to school, but his Food Dynamics teacher restricted him to only days they were not in the kitchen cooking!!How funny is that?!!!

Close Moments.

2008-09-25T11:42:00.000-07:00

Friends,
Well, yesterday was a tough day. Actually so was the day before. Lots of time in prayer for our daughter to come home. My heart was so heavy, leaden almost, causing me to look heavenward for strength and reassurance and rest.
As I was sitting at dance class, waiting on Summer Rain to finish her ballet class, I looked down upon the bench I was sitting on. There was a copy of Sports Illustrated. Hmmm. I don't read that magazine, and I almost looked away when the front page slogan caught my eye, and I re-read the three words that were blazed across the center in big, white letters. IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes! I really believe God put that magazine there to remind me that our daughter will come home :-) As if that was not enough, He graced me further with my daughter's shouts in the car as we were leaving the parking lot after dance class. She calls out,"Look, Mom! A rainbow!!" Indeed when I looked up, I saw a a broad slice of a most beautiful rainbow!! God's reminder to me that He keeps His promises!! To let you know how awesome this was, there was no rain, not this day or the day before. Just beautiful skies, and God's rainbow to share His love with me.

Family Fun Day

2008-09-22T08:55:00.001-07:00

Wubby 's company has a family fun day every year. It is great fun for all of us. There is bingo with really good prizes, and guessing games, a few carnival rides, a runway of sorts with carnival type games, and many, many inflatables for bouncing fun! We all always enjoy going, and Summer Rain loves it!!! Of course, the food is very good, and the kiddos love the free, unlimited popcorn, cotton candy, snow cones, cookies, and a huge buffet!!

The first pic is of our youngest son, just finishing his rock climb, and Wubby is next doing the same :-) The other pic is our Summer Rain (on the right) with a friend. They filled the backseat with their loot, and made us stay until it was OVER!! We were exhausted...but jubilant :-)

Ordinary vs Extraordinary

2008-09-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! Well, it is Friday, and my hope soars as I await the phone to ring today. Is there anything special about today. Nope. That is precisely what makes it so special. It is an ordinary day. God loves to use the ordinary to do EXTRA ordinary things!! If the phone doesn't ring and bring good news from Guatemala today, I will still enjoy a wonderful weekend , and await the next ordinary day that God chooses to use to bring to me the news that our file has been signed by the judge, and we are off to civil registry! We are getting closer and closer to bringing our daughter home. She is just beautiful, and I miss her very much. Soon, a couple of my friends will be traveling to pick up their daughters from Hannah's Hope, and both have promised to take with them a measure of love from me to bestow upon my little sweetie. Thank you friends in advance, for transporting a bit of my heart to Guatemala!

Meandering Thoughts

2008-09-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

The morning is pregnant with hope and promise.
The breeze causes the gentle tinkling of my wind chimes.
What are they proclaiming?
The freshness of the air fills my lungs with a sweetness rare.

I walk in the desert.
Sometimes with purposeful strides.
Sometimes skipping along.
Sometimes in circles.
And, sometimes, trudgingly on, and on.

It is quiet here, in my desert
save for my own thoughts.
The truths I know flood my mind.
Some appear as a fountain
Gushing forth to quench my thirst.
Others as manna to satisfy my hunger.
Still others as mountains that must be climbed and probed, and explored,
and eventually conquered.

My Lord is with me here.
He speaks softly His words
that direct my path inward
to use this gift of desert time for discipline.
The discipline to increase my faith, and shine light on my darkest corners.

Homecoming

2008-08-29T12:34:00.000-07:00

After a long trip, it is so nice to come home. I am a happy mommy today as I look about my house and see that the two boys that were away are now back home. I can safely tuck them in...OK...they are 21 and 18, so I won't ACTUALLY be tucking them in, but I can MENTALLY tuck them in :-) Yes, their piles of dirty clothes litter their bedroom floor, but that is OK. No longer do I regard those piles as laundry, but as the signs of life that they represent. I love my children, and would gladly have them all stay here in this house with me forever!! I keep telling them that when they grow up and get married, they can live here with us and we can just stay SO CLOSE!!! They all smile that knowing smile as they back away and make a run for the door!!LOL!!
All of this homecoming is so bittersweet as I ponder the other homecoming we are waiting for. Our sweet daughter is still out there in a land far away waiting for her own homecoming. She , too, will have her very own little pile of laundry that will represent the fact that she lives HERE, and can join her sister and three brothers in the day to day life that has been fashioned for her by the very hand of God.
May God swiftly answer the prayer of my heart to bring her home safely too. My fifth little child needs to come home.

Come to Jesus

2008-08-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

This song has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now. I cannot seem to get it out of my head. I guess I need to "blog" about it. The song is by Chris Rice and I am posting the lyrics. I so feel like this song is "my" song about the spiritual journey I have been on. This adoption has certainly given me cause to draw closer to Jesus. I know that is what He wants of me, to draw closer. And I am learning that as much as I want "Y" to come to me , Jesus wants me to come to Him even more.

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain,
so Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk Sometimes we fall...
so Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain,
then Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live

O, and when the love spills
over And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside,
then Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side,
and Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live

A time for change.

2008-08-19T12:21:00.001-07:00

Change is the one thing we can always count on. Not all change is welcome, yet it comes just the same. Some change IS welcome. I am not so sure how I feel about our recent change. We dropped off our dear son at college on Saturday...to fend for himself in the wide-wide world of being a Freshman. He will navigate the dorm and the gym and the food courts. He will find his classes and probably miss a meal or two. He will work late doing his homework(or he better:-)), and I hope he will miss me just a fraction of how much I miss him.
I must have looked pretty pitiful at church on Sunday, knowing he was far-far away...OK he is less than a two-hour drive from me...anyway, back to my soulful expression. I walked down the aisle to receive Holy Communion, and back to my pew to kneel and pray. As I was exiting the church, I was stopped by our priest, Father Phil. He held my hand and guided me to the side as he asked what was making me so sad!! He knew from the look on my face at communion that I wasn't my usual "smiley" self (as he put it). As I explained that we had just left Matt at school, he smiled a knowing smile, and said,"Robin, you are always being the mother, aren't you?" My tears immediately filled my eyes.
Today , with the help of my two devotionals, I reflected on the ability to be completely joyful and at the same time completely sorrowful. I think I have a good example of this circumstance!!

How to spend my day!

2008-08-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you have a beautiful sunny day and a giant skate box to play with? Why, if you are this son of mine, you spend your time enjoying the great outdoors while your little brother and sister are in school for the day :-) Going off to college has its advantages, one being that school doesn't start as early as high school!

Matt built this box and painted the mural on the top as his final art project in Advanced Art last year. He had a great time putting it to good use when he got it home! I love to watch him skate. He has incredible balance, and strength. All of this ability is ordinary to him. I recognize these as gifts and talents given to him by our Lord. He thinks all of this stuff is just easy!! I love this boy!!!

Senior Year

2008-08-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

WOW! I can hardly believe that our youngest son is actually a senior this year! As I contemplate where the years have all gone, I know that

even he must grow up. He was one of the sweetest babies to ever come into this world. He was a cutie and a cuddler, and melted my heart a little more each day. He still does. I told him the other day that now that his older brother was on tour in the US, and now that his middle brother was away at college, he would be the sole recipient of all of the love and affection I would normally have divided amongst him and his brothers!! He was thrilled, let me tell ya ;-) LOL! He receives and tolerates all of my hugging and squeezing with a smile. What a good boy...er...I guess I mean...young man :-) You will always be my baby!!!

More Fun at the Beach

2008-08-18T12:16:00.001-07:00

Because we love it, and because Summer Rain does not enjoy seafood...we headed to The Mellow Mushroom for pizza one night! We love this place, and it was once again a big hit.....especially when we discovered it was Karaoke night!!LOL! No, I couldn't convince any of the kids to get up and sing, but we all chorused in while sitting at our table:) One of the advantages of being a "musically inclined" family (except for me of course!!), is

that as the music flows, so does the laughter! One of my VERY FAVORITE things in this whole world is a time when all of us are together, and there is laughter in abundance! It warms the cockles of my heart:) I love my kids!!!

We Love the Beach!!

2008-08-18T12:05:00.001-07:00

Hello folks! I have been absent from the blogging world for basically the whole month of August

!! We have been a very busy family. Here are a few pictures of our trip to the beach. We had a great time of playing in the ocean, getting some sun, and of course eating some awesome food:) The boys are BIG seafood junkies, and were right at home partaking of the wide selection at hand...and it was fresh, fresh, fresh!!! I must confess to enjoying some delicious blackened Mahi-Mahi myself!!YUM!!

Hanging in there!

2008-07-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

I thought I would be posting about our swift entry into civil registry, but I am not. I am waiting to post about our entry into civil registry:) Once again I am the recipient of the "Hang in there" comment of encouragement. I am keeping my eyes on Jesus. He knows how long I need to hang in there. I am reminded of a playground I took my daughter to a few days ago. It had one of those hanging runner tracks that you hold on to the bars and glide down to the other end (and back again if you can keep a good grip). I lifted my daughter up to the bars(she couldn't quite jump as high as it was), and gave her a gentle push. There she went, back and forth a few times before her grip gave way and she came down only to ask me to lift her back up to try again. Hmmm. A good lesson in that for me. God knows how long my grip will hold, and He gives me rest when I cannot hang on any longer. He also knows that when I try again, I will hold on a little tighter, a little longer, because He has encouraged me.

Modern Day Miracles

2008-07-18T12:25:00.001-07:00

I am sorry I have been remiss on posting lately, but I have a very good excuse:) I have been witnessing a MIRALCE!!! (I have been sent a picture of said miracle on!!)
The look on this precious child's face mirrors mine. I see pure joy! Thank you Jesus!

The praise and glory go to GOD!!! He used His mighty power and orchestrated all of this before time began. I may have been in the dark, (actually I spent many days in darkness), about His plans, but I was constantly reminded that His ways are not our ways, and His plans are not our plans. His ways are, after all, so much better than ours!! He has chosen to bless our family with the privilege of raising this beautiful child. I am so humbled by His Divine mercy. I have so much to learn about God and His ways!! But for now, I will "bask in the Son" for giving me the gift of a daughter:)

Milestones

2008-07-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

Throughout our adoption process, we counted milestones. Some were so very exciting!! These were signing the contract with AGCI, mailing off the dossier, being put on the waiting list, getting "the call' for referral, seeing those first precious pictures of our daughter, visiting her for the first time, holding her for the first time, getting DNA, getting PA from USE, getting IN to PGN.....

Some milestones were more difficult. Getting past the DNA glitch( USE wouldn't accept transferred DNA), getting kicked out of PGN twice, the second time on her first birthday, getting caught up in the CA mess...twice, missing her first birthday...

Other milestones are just now happening. These are the saddest of the sad. On June 26th we "celebrated" our one year anniversary of getting "Y's" referral. Today we celebrate the one year anniversary of the day we traveled to Guatemala for our visit trip. Tomorrow will mark one year from the time we first held our new little daughter in our arms. We were so full of hope and anticipation of bringing her home. HH was wonderful. We had a picture perfect time. We totally fell in love with this small child who lives so very far away. She felt like she was mine.

AGCI always reminds us to "guard our hearts". After all, anything can happen with international adoption. I would like to know how anyone can do that. I simply cannot fathom entering into this process with a guarded heart. Where my children are concerned, I am fully vested. Heart, mind and soul. Guarding my heart means not feeling or growing in love. When I think about this, I bring to mind words that a very wise woman once told me as we were embarking on foster care. We asked about loving these children who would be with us, and then having to let them go. She said very simply," No one ever died from loving a child." How true that is. Our hearts will always be affected by these tiny beings who come into our lives. Whether they are there for a few days or for a lifetime, we should love them completely. Maybe the reason they are placed with us is so that we WILL love them. After all, who needs love more than they do?

I love you my sweet, Y. You will always be the daughter of my heart. No one can take the love I have for you away. It is mine to keep, yet keeping it is loss, not gain, therefore I give it to you. You will never be without me in your life. My love for you will always remain. No matter what. You may depend upon it. I may not be holding you in my arms right now, but know for certain that I hold you daily in the arms of my heart.

Hugs and squeezes from Momma

Alright already!!

2008-07-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been yelled out by God? Well, sometimes I get yelled at. Today was one of those days. .(Kind of gives you insight in to the hardheaded, impatient person I am.) Really, I didn't know that my wandering eye was causing wandering thoughts. Should I take matters into my own hands? I could just speed up this whole thing! I could just do this, and then it would be decided. Future chosen. Choices made. Done.
A little background for you , so it doesn't sound like I am rambling...OK...I AM rambling, but isn't that what my blog is for?? :)
I was told to check out AGCI's new web page. It was great! As I was checking out the countries available to adopt from, I went to India. As I was looking at all of the pictures of the beautiful children, I wondered if I should switch countries, and just go on with an adoption of another child. Maybe two. A girl and a boy. Get the ball rolling. After all, these kiddos are beautiful! These kids need a home. I have time right now to do a new dossier. I could be like Nike and "Just Do It!"
Well, I went as far as to e-mail AGCI about a picture I saw on the website.
That is when it happened!! The YELLING I mean. I sat down at my kitchen table to do my morning reading/prayers/reflections. After an opening gratitude prayer, I picked up my Streams in the Desert book. OUCH! My ears were scorched!! The reflection was about Elijah and the brook, as it dwindled and dried up. God sent Elijah there. (Hmm, my situation in Guatemala, perhaps.) He stayed put, Elijah I mean, even with the circumstances being what they were, until the Lord spoke to him. (UH-OH! Could it be that the circumstances in Guatemala are causing me to panic a bit? Am I becoming anxious, and want to make other plans before God speaks?) Am I devising another plan, long before the brook dries up, and asking God to bless it, and heading elsewhere? (Paraphrased from the reflection.)
"God will often extricate us from the mess we have made(was I about to make a mess of things?), because "His love endures forever". "YET" (oooooooohhhhh, that word is powerful!) if we will only be patient and wait to see the unfolding of HIS plan, we will never have to turn back and retrace our way, with wasted steps...." (Again, paraphrased.)
Then , in the very last line in the reflection, in italics none the less (so I wouldn't miss it), came a VERY LOUD voice, saying..."Wait for the LORD". Patiently wait! (Psalms 27) I went and read the whole Psalms after that !!
Oh, I am to be patient and wait some more?!
Yes, Lord. I will quit my wandering eye. I will allow it only to look heavenward. I will await your command. As the brook dries up, I will try my best not to be fearful of what I see, I will see the circumstances through your eyes, for you see so much more that I do.

Amen.

More Encouragement!

2008-07-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

I can always use more encouragement!! Can't you? :)
AnyHoo, one of my favorite verses for encouragement during our adoption wait has been Habakkuk 2:3
For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint;
If it delays, wait for it, it will surely come,it will not be late.

I was reading on the 4th of July (OK,OK, I do a lot of reading!!), in my Streams in the Desert book, and low and behold!!! God had placed that very verse right there to remind me that He is still working for our adoption!! Thank you ,Jesus!! You always know when I need some "inside" comment that will satisfy my need for confirmation that you are still working on my behalf!! Just wanted to be sure we were both on the same page:)
What an awesome God we serve!!
He also sent me another verse,(yes, I was STILL reading!), and that AGCI quotes a lot in their literature. Jeremiah 29:11
For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope.
I just love it when God sends me encouragement!!
Praising God for all He does!! God is good, ALL the time:)

Encouragement

2008-07-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

I have been praying very diligently lately for many things. One thing especially is for encouragement. I have found God's word to be very helpful (like, duh!)!! Also, a devotional book that a friend gave me titled,"Streams in the Desert" has been a great complement to my morning prayer time.
About a week ago, as I was once again reflecting on the situation in Guatemala and with our adoption, I was praying especially hard about the path we have chosen to take, and was asking God to make it clear to me we were where He wanted us to be.
I read a quote from the book I mentioned, by a man named Matthew Henry, who said,"We can depend on God to fulfill His promise, even when all of the roads leading to it are "closed"." This was a very powerful message, because we all know Guatemala is CLOSED right now. God WILL fulfill His promise!! Now, "when" is another question I have been asking:)

Can you say BUSY??

2008-07-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks for stopping by! I have been a bit remiss in updating my little blog lately. Please forgive me!! I have been quite busy of late, and will fill you all in on the details...I know how we all like the details!!LOL!
First of all , my oldest son left yesterday to tour with his band. They are headed for Detroit!! I know they will have a great time, but this old groupie will miss him terribly:)
Second, my youngest son is headed for Germany tomorrow!! Can you say, "We haven't packed a thing!!!!" Nothing like procrastinating to make life a bit more exciting:) He will have a wonderful time, and I am so happy we were able to send him. I think international travel is a great opportunity for our young men. We were able to send our middle son to Japan a couple of years ago. He was amazed at the different culture, and wants to return someday.
My middle son and I have been shopping for his dorm room at UAB. What fun it is to watch him pick out all the things that will make his space feel like home away from home. While we were shopping, we ran across a friend we know from church (an older couple) and the husband said,"Why didn't you just give him a couple hundred bucks and let him shop by himself?" I looked at him and said,"What fun would that be? This way I get the pleasure of his company, and he gets "extras" because I am here!" I found that to be so true. There are so few moments where I get to be alone with just one of my older boys. I love to spend one-on-one time with each of them. They are all so very charming, and handsome, and sweet. They like to shop with me, get a coffee with me, or sneak out for a nice lunch with the "Momma"!! How cool is that??!

Strength to " go on", but to "sit still"?

2008-06-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

How often have I prayed for strength to "go on"? Many times. When my children were newborns, and the days and nights just seemd to flow one into the next. Sleep was only captured when I could pry my watchful eyes off of their angelic faces. For me, to gaze upon a newborn is to be allowed a treasure beyond comprehension. I would pray for strength to get up another time to nourish that precious life. They were so hungry for food and for the reassurance that I was out there , and that I had heard their cry.
When my father died of a massive heart attack, and I had missed getting to see him that day.
When my nephew and neice's firstborn was lost to a heart condition at 9 weeks old.
When my adoption journey took an unexpected turn.
When ......trials that only happen to "someone else" unfold in my own life.

I am reminded that the Lord is my strength to go on, but ALSO the Lord is my strength to "sit still"!!! To do nothing. To just sit still and wait, requires great strength! "Thank you , Jesus for the strength to sit still and wait on You." Amen.

Decision Made

2008-06-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,
First of all, I wanted to officially say that Wubby and I have signed the postponement contract with AGCI for Guatemala. God is s-l-o-w-l-y unfolding His plan for us. We feel like we need to stay put!
That being said, I have been journaling for a purpose. Sometimes when I feel as if God isn't departing any direction for me, I can look back over a week or two of journaling, and there I will find my answer.
Some words I have been hearing are:
-Psalms 138: 1-3,7-8
...The lord will complete what He has done for me.
- God's pain in our suffering is even greater than our own.
-Luke 1:45
Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.
-From the book,"Streams in the Desert"
The things that are most precious to us today have come to us through tears and pain.
- The story of Abraham and Sarah: Sarah could not wait on the Lord. She did not believe that His word to her and Abraham would come true. She took it upon herself to make things happen. I do not want to do that. I want to trust Him in the wait!!
- "Be still".
-Psalms 121:1
Lift up your eyes to the hills and go forward. There is no other way.
-It is by trusting you will know fellowship with Him.
-Isaiah 49:4
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the Lord,
My recompense is with my God.
-Three times I was reminded that 1) You knit me in my mother's womb 2) from my mother's womb He gave me my name 3) the Lord called me from birth, from my mother's womb He gave me my name.
This lets me know that I am not forgotten. He knows right where I am.
-Isaiah 45: 2-3
I go before you and level the mountains; Bronze doors I will shatter, and iron bars I will snap. I will give you treasures out of the darkness, and riches that have been hidden away. That you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name!

The Taste of Blackberries

2008-06-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

My Friends,
I am quite alone in my house right now. The cats are even asleep. Wubby is umpiring baseball, Son 1 is working, Son 2 is "chillin" with a friend, Son 3 is working, and Summer Rain is down the street with a friend. I am here blog-stalking and learning lessons from others. The smell of a made-from- scratch blackberry cobbler is permeating my thoughts. It is almost done. The blackberries are fresh from the prickly vines that torment the picker. We can learn a lot about life from a blackberry bush! The blackberry is very well protected from the hand that seeks to remove it from it's home. How often do I set my eyes on the prize , only to forget to watch out for the snares and brambles that must be faced before any triumph can be had? God never promised that there wouldn't be thorns in the blackberry patch, but anyone who has ever popped a bursting blackberry into their mouth after the battle with those thorns, can attest to the fact that the battle is worth it!! YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bittersweet Memories

2008-06-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

I would love to be posting a beautiful picture of our "Y" today, but alas, that is not to be. God has other plans than the ones I first thought were unfolding. At least He has another end to this story than the one I envisioned. His way will be infinitely more beautiful and will give Him the glory He deserves. I hope I can point to that glory and to Him in a way that will be pleasing to my Lord.
This is not to say that I am not sad beyond belief at this circumstance we are now in. Today is the one year anniversary of our referral call. I can clearly remember the time and day. It was a Tuesday. Mid-afternoon. It took two phone calls, one to start my heart, the next to send it soaring into heaven:) I was on my way to work to teach my parenting class, when my cell phone rang with confirmation of "Y". I remember crying, screaming, and wondering how in the world I was EVER gonna teach my class!!!
This memory will be with me always.
"I love you, my sweet, sweet little girl."

What a cute couple!

2008-06-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

This is my oldest son and his girlfriend. Are they not just the cutest!!! They have been together since Chris was 16 years old! It will be 6 years this September! (Funny little aside...I met Wubby when I was 16!!)

We love her like our own:) I could not have hand picked out a better soul mate for our son. " Thank you Jesus!!"

Some of Matt's Portfolio

2008-06-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

We scattered a few of Matt's drawings around the formal dining room at his graduation reception. It was real treat to see a lot of his work all in one place:) We wanted to display his final art project, but it wouldn't fit. He built an 8 feet by 4 feet skating box, and painted a mural on it. We couldn't quite get it in the house!!

Happy Graduation!

2008-06-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

Our sweet Matt! I just love this boy!! He is sporting all of the cords and medals for his art acheivement. We are so proud of him:) He is headed to UAB with an art scholarship!!GO MATT!!

Wild,Wild West!

2008-06-21T09:34:00.000-07:00

This is Summer Rain in one of the four costumes that she wore in her dance recital this year! This was her tap number! We always have a great time with recital!! Such a girly thing:) She is taking five classes each week. Tap, Jazz, Hip-Hop, Ballet, and Modern. We practically live at The Dance Company!!

Anyone Hungry?

2008-06-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

Okay! You know you are a mom when you go away without the kids and you take pictures of the "cool' McDonald's because you just know your kiddos will have to see it!!! We actually went inside for coffee, just so we could tell Summer Rain we did and that we sat on the second level:) I must say, she was VERY impressed!!LOL!

Amazing!

2008-06-21T09:08:00.000-07:00

Well hellllllooooo! I have just a few minutes to put a couple of pictures here. Wubby and I went to Las Vegas the first of this month on a mini vacation. Well, actually, Wubby was awarded Employee of the Year in his department at work, and the award ceremony was there, and I got to go along for the ride. We stayed at Caesar's Palace, and the hotel was gorgeous! It earned it's 5- star rating:) The only drawback was no coffee pot in our room!! I guess if you stay at a 5-star hotel, you are not supposed to make your own coffee, you are supposed to pay the $20 to have coffee sent to your room each day!!

Anyway, my favorite part was the shopping!! This picture was actually taken INSIDE!! The ceiling is painted like the sky, so it always seems mid-day while you are there. Amazing...and probably someone did research to determine the time of day most people made purchases, and that was the kind of day the sky would reflect!!TEEHEE!!

Something To Ponder

2008-06-07T19:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes ordinary words are placed side-by-side and they become extraordinary wisdom.

For example:
"Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect."

I am contemplating this wisdom.

I Go Before You Always

2008-06-06T06:24:00.000-07:00

I received this this morning in my inbox. It is from a website called "God's Minute". It amazes me how God can use litterally ANYTHING to get His comforting word out to us when we need it most.

BE STRONG AND OF GOOD COURAGE; DO NOT BE AFRAID, NOR BE DISMAYED, FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. ( JOSHUA 1:9 * NKJV )
Dear Robin,
Whenever you become fearful know that: THE LORD, HE IS THE ONE WHO GOES BEFORE YOU. HE WILL BE WITH YOU, HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU; DO NOT FEAR NOR BE DISMAYED. ( DEUTERONOMY 31:8 ) After all, when we are fearful we worry and tend to build mountains out of mole hills in our minds. Now things rarely ever materialize nearly as bad as we then have anticipated. Thus we have become fearful for nothing, and remember that fear is the opposite of faith! Now God has even promised us: WHEN YOU PASS THROUGH THE WATERS, I WILL BE WITH YOU; AND THROUGH THE RIVERS, THEY SHALL NOT OVERFLOW YOU. WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE FIRE, YOU SHALL NOT BE BURNED, NOR SHALL THE FLAMES SCORCH YOU. ( ISAIAH 43:2 ) This verse is referring to the Children passing through the Red Sea, and also the protection HE gave to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, in the fiery furnace. Both are good examples of how God has helped HIS Children in the past! Therefore King David was able to boldly say: "YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL; FOR YOUR ROD AND STAFF, THEY COMFORT ME. ( PSALM 23:4 ) So Robin, when you become worried or fearful know that God will help you, just as HE has done for His Children in the past! Therefore; you may boldly say: THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND MY SALVATION; WHOM SHALL I FEAR? THE LORD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY LIFE; OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID? Amen! ( PSALM 27:1 )

In HIS Love & Service,
Pastor Allen

The Call

2008-06-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

Well, once again I am looking for light in this dark place. I know God is with me, but what He is up to I cannot say. Our news about our adoption case is not what we had hoped. PGN did not change their minds about our case. It remains closed.
I am trying to look up to my Father and praise Him for His works in my life. I know He already knew this would happen, but I didn't, and I have to trust His heart to know what is best for me and for "Y".
Please pray for our family as we travel a road not yet traveled. We do not know where it will lead us. Maybe to another adoption....maybe not.
I will open my heart to His will. I will pray it seeps into my soul and flows in my veins, and becomes my lifeblood. May His will become my will, and may I be a good and faithful servant to Him. May this trial only serve to draw me closer in, and strengthen the bond I have with Him.
Amen,
Robin

AGCI vs PGN

2008-06-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

I could just have easily said God vs Satan in my title for this post. I truly believe this is a spiritual battle we are facing. The Enemy knows that if this child comes home to us that she will be brought forth to be baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit! This is not lost on the Evil One. He does not underestimate the power of God!
The meeting with PGN to decide "Y's" case is this afternoon.
Please pray!

FOUND! AN OPEN WINDOW!!

2008-06-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

I know I am backtracking a bit, but I must type that last Friday, May 30th, I received a call from All God's Children International, our adoption agency. It was definitely a "God Thing" kind of call. We had been recently told that our current adoption was closed, and we would have to make the gruelling choice of what to do next. God was not really nudging me in any particular direction. We could opt to terminate the whole process (that one gave me such a sense of emptiness), we could sign a postponement contract in Guatemala, or we could switch to another country and basically start all over. Heavy sigh! No option was what we wanted. We wanted our sweet daughter to come home from Guatemala. The blessings of a christian organization such as AGCI is that THEY are committed to praying for us all also. As we waited for discernment, they were also praying for His will to be done.
The call about this tragic news came on Wed. May 21st. During our grief, we felt all of the prayers of our friends lifting our hearts and minds to give glory to God. I really cannot describe how protected I felt during the moments between the two phone calls that were as different as night and day. One took away all hope....one brought it all back.
The second call was to tell us that PGN (Guatemala board of advisers that approve all adoptions) had requested a second review of our case to bring our daughter home!! PGN NEVER does this! This can only, without mistake, be the hand of our Lord interceding in this situation Himself! It truly is a case of Him seeing what has to be done, and opening a window for His will to pass through.
I am following Him as closely as I can. I see the window, and although AGCI has said to "guard my heart" lest I be disappointed, I am breathing in the sweet breath of hope that billows at the curtains surrounding the window that He has unlocked and lifted open. I am following His Hope.
The light that was not visible before, is now streaming through the panes of this window and is also piercing through the pains we have endured in our journey to this child.
Peace be with you all,
Robin

When a Door Closes......

2008-05-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

My Friends,
Oh how good it is to have friends. They talk with you, laugh with you, and cry with you. The last few days have been crying days. My faith in God's plan has been sorely tested. I am trying to stand firm and face the suffering that is my cross to bear. I offer it all up to Him who will be glorified in it.
All of this sadness is related to our latest adoption news. The child that was to be ours will not be coming home. It hurts to type those words. Each letter of it a painful reminder of the truth behind the words. Random letters on a keyboard, arranged in such a way as to bring tears from the very core of my being.
The story is a tragic one, about a woman of faith who can not care for another child. She seeks a way to secure the future of this tiny gift from her Lord. First, she chooses life. Praise the Lord! Second, she chooses a family to adopt her tiny daughter. That falls through. She must have been wondering what her Lord was doing. Then she chooses another family, meets them, and just knows it is the right family. She has peace. Her job is done.
The tragedy? Her untimely death. Gang violence is responsible. Where are you God? Why did this have to happen?
Now, what will become of this little daughter? She will not get to come home to the arms of the family that has waited for a year for her. I, her mommy, will never hold her in an embrace that is so full of love that we can cry together over this loss. I met her birth mother. I can tell her how sweet and wonderful she was. I will not get that chance.
God often closes doors to paths He does not want us to take. He has slammed this one shut! I am overwhelmed. I turn round and round looking for the window that He will open. It will be filled with light for this darkness, and provide the much needed air for my lungs. It is hard to breathe. There are so many "why's", but not so many answers.
I am trying to trust in His heart. He will not give His child anything that is not good for them. Lord God, please show me your way, and the goodness in all of this. If I am never to find out why this all happened, help me to be aware of your presence through this pain.

Trying to Feel the Joy

2008-05-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

All,
Thank you for the prayers. The update is not good. I just heard from AGCI (our agency) that they were unable to get to our birth mother in time. The interview will have to be rescheduled. I ask for continued prayers of the faithful to help AGCI locate and notify our birth mother so that our process can continue. We are in a holding pattern...once again.
I am trying to give praise and glory to God from whom all good gifts come. I know He loves me, and will not forsake me. He who sees and knows all, knows what is best for me. Maybe the interviewers today are the unkind ones, and He is helping our birth mother be in an interview with a kind person. We will never know why this is happening, but I am trying to rest in Him, and trust His will.
As the Virgin Mary said,"Lord, be it done to me according to Your will. I am the handmaid of the Lord."

Our Lady of Guadelupe

2008-05-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

This picture is my prayer today. I pray that Our Blessed Mother will continue to protect the children all over the world from the "beast", especially those in Guatemala awaiting permancy in the form of a family. I pray that the Virgin Mary, our heavenly mother, will watch over and protect all of the birth mothers who seek a better life for their children. Blessed Mary, please comfort these women as they stand in judgement before the PGN. You, as a mother, know especially what is in each of their hearts. You can feel their pain as no other can.

Hail Mary, full of grace

the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.

Holy Mary,

Mother of God,

Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.

Amen

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.

Contemplation.

2008-05-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

Wubby took this picture a few weeks ago, when the spring, green leaves had just made a good appearance. It was a lovely day.
As I reflect on this picture I am reminded of God's provision. The tree just stays put, and leaves the worrying to the Creator. The rains come, and the tree just soaks it in. The drought comes, and the tree will rely on the times of rain when the Lord provided water. The tree knows not what each day will bring, but nonetheless, stands in the presence of the Lord and takes whatever comes. The tree knows that God will see to it's every need according to His will. The tree bends and sways with the will of the Father as the winds blow at times softly through it's branches, and at other times with the force of fury.
Today, as I was reading God's word, I was comforted by the message. It was as follows: James 1:2-3 "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
And Psalms 119: 71-72 "It was good for me to be afflicted, in order to learn your laws. Teaching from your lips is more precious to me than heaps of silver and gold."

My humble prayer

Lord,
Teach me to be joyful in ALL things. Allow not my will but your own to be my goal. Forgive me for seeking my own intentions, when I should be seeking yours. Grant me wisdom to sustain me in my trials.
Amen

Samson

2008-05-12T09:20:00.001-07:00

I had to post these pics. This is one of our sweet kitties. His name is Samson. The first pic of him is the look he gets on his face whenever Summer Rain is coming to play with him!LOL! The second pic is his disinterested look at the piano music box that he will have his first piano lesson on. The last picture is the determined Summer Rain making sure Sam-Sam gets his money's worth out of the lesson!!!

The Busy Life.

2008-05-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

All,
I hope to get back into the blog swing of things this month. It has been a very busy time for us with preparations for our middle son's high school graduation, and his college acceptance and our daughter's dance recital. They all converge this weekend, and end on Tuesday evening with graduation ceremonies. Family will be in from out of state, and that means deep-cleaning inside and outside!!LOL! Got my mom and the MIL here for inspection!! Ouch!
Anyway, we cleaned the deck and planted lots and lots on Saturday and Sunday, and I have been a painting maniac trying to spruce up the place. It all needed attention, and there is nothing like impending company to get me up and running!! We are having a graduation reception for our DS on Sunday, and he politely asked if there was a limit to the number of friends he could invite!! GULP! "Uh, no dear. However, please don't invite the WHOLE senior class!!" That would be hundreds of kids! We shall see how many he pares it down to:)
Robin

Summer Rain

2008-04-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Hellllloooo! I have missed you! Glad you could come for a visit:) I have been very busy lately, and will hopefully get updates on my blog about all of the good stuff!

Here is a quick pic of our little Summer Rain who went camping at Camp Cha-La-Kee with her Dadda, Chief Running Deer! They had a great time, and won many ribbons. Summer Rain won fishing trophies for Most Fish Caught, and Biggest Fish! We are very proud of her:) Now...if she will only learn to bait her own hook!LOL! EWWWWW! Worms!!

They were able to ride horses, as you can see, and that is a favorite activity!

Where was I? Oh, well, I was visiting my Momma and we were dining out and shopping, and chatting and driving all over looking for a Starbucks!! We finally found one..in the HOSPITAL!!! When I tell everyone that my mom and I went to the hospital on my last visit, they all ask "why"? I simply say,"For coffee, of course!" TEEHEE! As we left the hospital with our coveted beverages, my mom turns to me and very seriously asks,"Robin, can you drink and drive?" That one kept us laughing all the way home:)

I Go Before You Always

2008-04-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

No picture this time. Only my heart speaking love and thanksgiving to my God who gives as well as takes away. The wait has been getting increasingly more difficult. I do not ever doubt that the promise will be fulfilled, but I do question what will be left of me when it is. Will I have spent all of myself in the struggle to find peace in the wait. I want to have so much left for her. She deserves it!
I was praying for God to guide my path, and lay before me the sure knowledge that He was responsible for my direction. At Mass on Sunday, I stood to take my place in the line that would bring me before His altar, before Him, and allow me the great privilege of receiving His precious body that was given up for me. The song playing for Holy Communion drifted over the pews. It flowed into my ears and stirred my heart as God used its soothing words to reassure me of His divine plan. The song that I joined in to sing through my tears was, "Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow me. And I will give you rest." This is the very song I named my blog after! Thank you Jesus for your personal relationship with me!!
Amen!

Happy Birthday Summer Rain!

2008-04-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

Our daughter turned 9 years old on April 12th! We cannot believe how fast she is speeding toward double digits!! Please slow down my little princess!

For her birthday(that is her in the middle), she had two of her closest friends spend the night. Anyway, first we all went to the movies to see Nim's Island. It was a cute movie . Plenty of adventure! Then we went to the mall for some fun and girly shopping! We hit Libby Lu first for hair extensions and "Do's", and then on to Justice and Hallmark to check out the available WebKinz supplies! They didn't want to leave the shopping behind to go eat, so we dined in the food court, before making our final purchases. After a trip into Bath and Body works for a hand treatment and new lotions to try(and a few lip gloss choices), we made our way back to Justice to buy WebKinz. By night's end, the birthday girl's total supply of WebKinz had risen to 35(including what she had at home)!!! I ask? Is there such a thing as TOO MANY stuffies?? I THINK NOT!! Her pals enjoyed a new WebKinz ..or two...as well ;) Needless to say, the mall was closing when we headed home. When we got home, there were gifts to open for the birthday girl as well as gifts for the guests. They received cute crocheted purses stuffed with candy, lip gloss, nail jewelry, a new Barbie, and a new outfit for Barbie to change in to, a beaded necklace, and a punch ball! Fun was had by all, and the girly girls went to sleep snuggled next to their new stuffies...all of which had been properly named and registered on WebKinz World! Of course, they giggled quite a bit before settling in...it was after 1 am when their eyes closed for the night! Good thing I am a night person!LOL! Where was Wubby, you ask? Happy NOT to be with us on our excursion:) And, asleep before the rest of us!

The Front of Her Closet

2008-04-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

Her Closet

2008-04-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm. The first words that come to mind..."poorly lacking". That is what I think when I look into the armoire that will be our daughter's closet when she first comes home. Okay, Okay, I know. The travel pillow and picture frames are debris, and will have to go! Anyway, what this tells me is that I am about ready for some more retail therapy:) I have decided NOT to buy any more clothes until we exit PGN. SOOOO, Come on PGN and LET US OUT!! I did buy a diaper bag! One size fits all:) I love it!! It is in the corner on the left. It looks like a messenger bag, and is brown with pink trim. All of that "stuff" crammed in under the hanging clothes are hooded towels, wash cloths, bibs, shoes , socks, bottles, spoons, teethers, books, etc. I just buy stuff that is not size specific, and toss it in! Actually, I am not sure what all IS buried back there!!LOL! Hmmmm, I may need to take a look!

The Crib

2008-04-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

Ah, the crib. It mocks me at times, seemingly laughing at my hopes and dreams. Constantly reminding me that it is empty as I walk by. It's silence making me painfully aware of the absence of the sweet baby girl that does not rest her dark-haired head on the tiny pink flowers that run across the sheets with abandon.

Ah, the crib. It stands as a sentinel to the homecoming of the child who will chew on its railings and bang on its walls. It knows it cannot possibly contain the one it holds....there will always be outstretched arms reaching deep within its confines to free the little one who at once seeks its protection and familiarity, and yet wishes to be out, so to be held and loved . The irony? That little one is held already. Not in the arms of her mother, but in her heart. She is also loved beyond anyone's comprehension. For how can we possibly understand with our limited knowledge, the depths of love that fill our hearts and beings.

Where is the Emphasis?

2008-04-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Today I found myself flipping through the pages of the calender. I am not looking for a scheduled event, but rather an UNscheduled event. I find some modicum of comfort in looking ahead to the imaginary date on which we will get to pick up our baby girl. Pitiful, I know.

The days lately seem endless, but the inquiring looks from others, sometimes keeps me indoors to avoid the barrage of disappointed stares. I actually had a mom I know apologize to me before asking about when our baby would get here. She did not want to cause me any more pain than I was already experiencing. I find it humbling to know that others suffer along with me during this wait.

Some common questions I have been thinking about.

"When will she come home?"

"I don't know."

"Why does it take so long?"

"I don't know."

"Don't they know this is a child?"

"I don't know."

As I look at these three questions, I reflect on the word on which the emphasis is placed. Hmmmm. When will she come home? "I" don't know, but my Lord does.

Why does it take so long? I "don't" know. If I did, I could explain it or maybe fix it.

Don't they know this is a child? I don't "know" anything about the people who God has placed in charge of my daughter's future. All I do know is that He has chosen very carefully all who will be involved in her paperwork, just as He has carefully chosen the family that will welcome her home when the time arrives.

I guess the lesson to learn is that the emphasis must be on GOD. He has all of the answers, even to the toughest questions. I can hear Him speaking to me , His child, as I ask these questions of Him. He is saying,"Because I said so!" I smile knowingly, because there are times when I have uttered these very words when speaking to my own children. Not because I don't want to answer them, but because the answer to their questions would be too far above their comprehension. Trust! It boils down to trust. We ask our children to trust us every day. God is asking me to trust Him in all things. Sometimes His will is too far above my comprehension.

Prom

2008-04-06T14:59:00.000-07:00

Our son just attended his first prom! We were so excited about all of the hoopla. He looked marvelous in his tux and his date was a beauty. She is JUST a friend, and she asked him to go. The theme of the prom was The Orient, and the group went to dine at Tokyo, a very nice Japanese restaurant, before going to the prom. After prom, they went cruising in the limo they had rented for the evening, and ended up at a friends house. Our son then parted from his date to meet up with some buddies for an all-nighter of hanging out and having fun. Fortunately for me, that friend lives in the same neighborhood as us, and I know the mom:) Ah, the safety net !! After all, all children need a balance of freedom AND limits!
After three boys, I am SO ready for a chance to buy a prom DRESS for my girls! Fortunately, they are eight years apart, so I can recover financially from one before paying for another!LOL! I know me, and I will DEFINITELY go overboard:)
I had to smile at the picture on the wall to the right of his head. It is him when he was about 1.5! They truly do grow up too fast!!

Hugs!

2008-04-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Gee, are ya tired of all my posts? I know, I should save a few for another day, but while I am here....
OK! I lived for MANY years surrounded by boys. First my husband, then three little ones..all boys. I was seriously outnumbered! When Summer Rain was born, it helped even out the odds:) She makes up for all of those years of no pink and nothing girly around. She gives her brothers a run for their money in the huggy-kissy department. For the most part she is well received, but then again, it is a safe bet to hug in public where everyone is looking, and no one will stop her!!!LOL! Did I mention that she is smart as well as a cutie??!! She is hugging her oldest brother in blue, Spotted Deer. Her middle brother in red, Brave Wolf, and her youngest brother in pink, Running Squirrel. Yes, they too, have Indian names. They were a part of the YMCA program Indian Guides. Now the program is called Native Sons and Daughters. I highly reccommend it if they have this program in your area.
I cannot wait until next Easter when our darling new daughter will share in the hugs !

Christmas Tree Car

2008-04-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

Well, imagination is really key in making pinewood derby cars...at least if you are Summer Rain. She wantes her cars to go fast, but that is the job of her Dadda..Running Deer. Her job is to be creative and come up with the years newest design. She has created a watermelon car, a slice of wedding cake car...complete with filling betweeen the layers and a wedding cake topper with a bride and groom, and a party hat car with a poof ball on top! This year her car was a christmas tree (the one in the middle). She is already making plans for next year! I can't tell ya what it is....it's top secret:)

Summer Rain

2008-04-06T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well, there is no story behind this picture. I just found it on my camera, and decided to post it because I like it! Summer Rain is very cooperative with me whenever I say,"Stay right like that! This will make a great picture!!"

Happy Birthday!

2008-04-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Dear ------,
Happy Birthday to you!
Our little Guatemalan Princess had a birthday in January. I was so sad that she was not here to celebrate, but we remembered her by having a small cake with one shining candle on it. We all gathered around the table and sang Happy Birthday to her, and prayed that somehow God would make sure she felt extra special that day. We bought a few presents for her, and we hope she likes them:) It is a tradition in our family, that on your special day, we do this 'round the table thing. We turn out all of the lights for effect, and it is fun to sing in the dark, with only the candles lit. This day was extra special, because as we gathered around the table, we were made very aware of the person we were singing to, and her absence. That one, lone candle shining in the dark of our kitchen was truly illuminating the love in our hearts for this precious child who is still so far far away in miles, yet so very close to our hearts. Thank you Jesus for this reminder that love is not dependant on proximity.
I didn't have a blog back then, so I am just now getting to post about this stuff! BTW, the cake was delicious!

Easter Egg Hunt

2008-04-06T13:04:00.002-07:00

Hi there! I guess you all must have given up on me ever posting again:) Well, I am baaaaack! I hope to catch you all up on the happenin's around here. Be patient, this may take awhile!LOL!

This is a pic of my sweet girl and me in the park after the annual Easter egg hunt with her Indian Princess Tribe. Her Indian name is Summer Rain. We thought this was so appropriate for her! She came up with it all on her own, and it really describes her personality. She is usually a beautiful summer day, with the possibility of a storm!LOL! Anyway, she found the most eggs that day, 94, and won a BIG basket of goodies!!
Way to go Summer Rain:)

Mind Pictures

2008-03-21T14:30:00.000-07:00

Today I was reminded by a sweet friend of the "mind pictures" we conjure when waiting on our referral of our precious children. We are asked by social workers, co-workers, and even family..."What will the child look like?" I could never say for sure, until I saw her face, but I knew for sure that she was beautiful, and had the biggest brown eyes, and shiny black hair. The rest was just deatails. Now that I can see her image in photograhs, she is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, and she is mine. Not by my design, but by God's. His way is always better.
As I look back over the course of my life, I have always had a desire to have a dark-eyed daughter,who has shiny, black hair. Funny, I would see so many of these children, and long for one of my own to pick up and hug and hold and kiss. I have actually had to restrain my fingers from reaching out to touch the beautiful hair and brown skin of children at church or in stores. I often wondered why I had such a strong desire where these particular children were concerned. Now I know. God kept this desire alive in me so that I would seek out the daughter He had planned for me. Not the four blue-eyed children he has blessed me with, those children came to me, but the one I would have to go to, the one He fashioned in a far away place, where he knitted her together in her mother's womb, in anticipation of the "other" mother who would hold her in her arms and cherish her for all eternity.

The Starfish Story

2008-03-18T07:56:00.000-07:00

A young man is walking along the ocean and sees a beach on which thousands and thousands of starfish have washed ashore. Further along he sees an old man, walking slowly and stooping often, picking up one starfish after another and tossing each one gently into the ocean.

"Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?," he asks.

"Because the sun is up and the tide is going out and if I don't throw them further in they will die."

"But, old man, don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it! You can't possibly save them all, you can't even save one-tenth of them. In fact, even if you work all day, your efforts won't make any difference at all."

The old man listened calmly and then bent down to pick up another starfish and threw it into the sea. "It made a difference to that one."

Mr. Eiseley

The Beginning of the Beginning!

2008-03-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

My experience with adoption did not begin in August (2006) with the mountains of paperwork required for international adoption. It began in the heart of a little girl who thought she was getting a baby sister, and got a cousin instead. I didn’t know it then, but God would use this event in my young life to plant a seed that would take decades to grow.
I often wondered over the many years to follow why my heart ached so deeply when commercials would come on TV asking for aid and sponsorship for orphans in far away countries. I wanted to do more than simply send money. I wanted to reach into the screen and bring those children into my world and under my protection. I wanted to hold them and feed them and take care of them all. I know God was using these commercials to fertilize the seed he had planted in my heart so that it would grow.
As I grew up, I had a family of my own. Adoption was just not in my vision as I carried and gave birth to three, healthy, beautiful sons. It wasn’t until the spring of 1998 that I remembered my adoption desire as John and I contemplated adding another child to our family. Of course we had our own ideas of how, when, and where we would handle the adoption. Looking back, I laugh at the “control” we thought we had. I was certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that God was behind our adoption plans. After calling and researching every possible lead, doors were shutting left and right. No one was cooperating with OUR plan. I vividly remember the day that I dropped to my knees, fervently praying and crying out to God to tell me what to do. I thought I was following His will. Why all the road blocks?! In the midst of all my prayers, God whispers to me. He said that we should have a baby. The peace that ascended on me was so profound that I knew it could only come from my surrender to His will. I really believe that it is in my weakest moments that my heart is most pliable and accepting of His will. My fear of what God wanted me to do was from a lack of trust that whatever the outcome of the pregnancy, I could count on God to be there and to see me through.
We had Kelly, and a few years later, the feelings about adoption were stirring again. I talked to John, and we agreed to adopt. I truly felt God was behind these feelings, but did not discuss the details with Him. Once again, we were making our own plans. God did plant a new seed. He introduced me to the world of international adoption. I was immediately drawn to Guatemala, however, John was not on board for that. I decided that an adoption was an adoption wherever the child came from and we began Group preparation and Selection classes through DHR, a home study, and all of the paperwork necessary to be approved. We opened our hearts to the child we thought would fit our family, and decided on a girl around Kelly’s age. We knew that adopting a single child would be very unlikely. Siblings were a very real possibility. After many months of waiting after our local and state approval, it seemed as if no children were available. We decided to follow our social worker’s advice, and try foster care as a method to get a child in our home. God used this time in our lives to teach us about our family, and to show us for certain that we could love a child not born to us. He also showed us that it was not time for us to adopt. We cared for nine unforgettable children during this time. With each child that came, also came the question, ”Would this be the one?” We thought Gabby, who was a mere 5 weeks old when we took her in, was going to be the one. God placed her in our home at a time when life was so busy that caring for a newborn was very challenging. Once again, my knowing we were destined for adopting collided with many obstacles. In all of my confusion of not understanding why He would tell me to adopt, and then seemingly make it impossible, I found myself on my knees again crying out to my God. In answer, He sent me Lynne that day to comfort me with soothing words and the kind of healing hug that only a true friend can give. Peace settled over me, and I surrendered to His will, and awaited what I was to do next. My prayers were answered. A phone call this time. A social worker telling us that Gabby had siblings they didn’t know about, and she would have to be moved to be with them. What I thought was in my control, never was. HMMMMM…maybe I can remember this lesson next time.
I let go of the adoption, and tucked it deep into a corner of my heart. I knew I was not mistaken about our destiny, but for now I would listen to the Lord as He had asked me to wait. I would be content to ponder in my heart, what God’s will was and how it would come about.
God used the birth of my niece to stir up the desire for a child. By now, the boys were older, and Kelly was six. I continued to think about it, and began to pray. One day, God sent me a booklet in the mail about international adoption from AGCI. I had all but forgotten that this was the agency I had spoken to so many years ago. I didn’t realize that I was on their mailing list, because I had not received anything from them in all of this time.
I devoured the magazine, and felt the old, familiar stirrings. Tears flooded my eyes and filled my heart as I knew my family was travel worn from all of our previous experiences. I knew God was saying, “Yes.” I was so afraid my family would say ,“No.” They did. My questions for God all were about discerning if this was truly the time. He told me AND showed me over and over that this was indeed the time. I reminded God, as if He needed it, that the heart that would need convincing was my husband’s. He assured me that He would take care of that.
I prayed daily for John’s heart to soften and allow God’s will to be heard. On July 29th of 2006, I was reading the daily readings and the reflection in The Word Among Us was, ”How good it is to put our trust in God’s faithfulness.” That morning John came to me and told me he was ready to start the paperwork for the adoption.
When I look back, as it is so much easier to do, I see God’s hand moving mightily to bring me to where I am. He has grown my faith and trust in Him. He has taught me to be obedient and to seek His counsel in all things. He has showed me that He fulfills His promises, always. He is trustworthy and faithful. He has given me everything. When I get discouraged, He shows me how far I have come on my journey, and leads me to a greater depth of knowledge of Him. He comforts me and reassures me. He allows me to call upon Him for all of my needs.
God has used each life event to teach me and stretch me and prepare me for what is to come. He has given me resources in scripture and in words of wisdom from people who are close to me, and He has provided me with new friends who are immersed in the world of adoption to be prayer partners and support and encouragement as we travel a similar road together.
The scripture passage that has comforted me the most during this time is Habakkuk 2:3 “For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late.”
My own Cursillo verse has also served to remind me that I am not alone on my journey. Matthew 11:28 “Come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest.” I am sure that these words will continue to comfort me during the road ahead.
I am joyful in the knowledge that God does indeed answer prayers. He answers them with a “yes”, with a “no” ,or with a “wait”. Our waiting continues for this promised child.

DeColores!

Home Sweet Home

2008-03-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody! How are ya doing? Here, we are fine. I just wanted to post about my dream I had a couple of nights ago. It was early Sunday morning(my birthday, none the less), when I awoke to realize I had had an incredible dream! Don't ya just love waking up to find out you have had a great dream, and that you can actually remember what it was about??!! Well, it was about our sweet daughter that is still at Hannah's Hope in Guatemala. First I must tell you that a theme about nursing your adopted child has been flowing through the messages on the yahoo group I am a member of. It is a group for adoptive parents who are with All God's Children International. Anyway, I dreamed that I was nursing my beautiful daughter! I could actually feel her in my arms. How wonderful those moments were. For those of you who might be wondering, adoptive nursing is something that I feel very called to do. I have had concerns about the age of initiation, because our daughter is over a year old, but God sometimes reveals to us in our dreams things that give us peace. You all may remember the other special dream I had about our daughter. For those of you who don't recall this incident, I will refresh your memory!! OK, here goes. We got put on the girl's waiting list in Dec. 2006. In January, we were number 29. A long way from a referral (six months to be exact!). Any way, I had a dream one night that I was holding my new daughter, and all of our family was surrounding me and her. It was a very special moment, and I wrote about it on the list serve in a post to my friend. Needless to say, it would be many months before we would receive our referral. When we did we were elated! After we had traveled for our visit trip, and were back home, I was searching for something in the archives of the AGCI listserve, when I came across the posting about my dream. I was so sentimental as I re-read what I had written, and remembered the dream...how sweet, that all of those months ago, I had dreamed about my baby girl. As I was exiting out of that post, my eye caught sight of the date I had had the dream. It was on the very day that our daughter was born!! You see, she was six months old at our referral! Tears filled my eyes! I called everyone I knew to tell them of God's province in "the details"!!! He would want me to know that she truly was the one He chose for our family. I knew before this, but I had NO DOUBT after this!! Wubby and I would often talk about "How will we know if our referral is "the one"?" God dispelled all doubt!! We have a great God! He knows us inside and out! That is so comforting to know:)

Serenity and Rest

2008-03-13T18:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a trying day. Isn't it wonderful how God provides for us even before we figure out what we need?! Where am I going with this? I will tell you. First off, I meet with a group of extraordinary women every Wednesday morning at 6:15 am (Yes, AM!)., in the library of our church. We share, we give, we listen, and we are present to each other in a way that only God can weave together. Now, when I went yesterday morning, I was reminded of the Serenity prayer. You know the one.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Very powerful words, and very useful to me yesterday afternoon. I didn't realize when the prayer was mentioned early that day, that I would so need those words just a few hours later. God knew. This prayer, uttered through a tide of tears, was a comforting shawl around my sagging shoulders. The other provision that was set up for me was that my wubby was home for the day. He was preparing for a four day trip that started today, and he was taking an extra day spur of the moment sort of. I didn't know I would need him there. God knew.

I was at the computer, much like now, when the phone rang. I glanced at the number, and answered it. It was our case worker from our adoption agency, All God's Children International.
The voice on the other end of the phone was not a joyful voice. (She happens to have a very joyful voice!) I knew something was not good. She started to give me the news I was dreading. Our file had been previewed and another document was being requested. This is our second preview, so it hurt twice as much. She went on to say that it would be 1-2 weeks to get the document, and then we would be resubmitted to the PGN(Guatemala board of advisers who approve adoptions). To make matters worse, when your file gets kicked out of PGN, you go back in and start the process all over. You do not start from where you left off.

The sadness of the news crept across me and settled in my soul. I was exhausted from the emotional turmoil, and from physically sobbing and drenching my pillow as well as my husbands shoulder. He was there for me because my Lord knew he would need to be. The Serenity Prayer raced through my mind over and over. Each time I prayed those words, I could feel myself becoming more and more accepting of God's plan.

I also relied on the words of a very special verse in God's word. Matthew 11:28. "Come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest." WOW! Could I ever use the rest! God had once more provided me with strength for the journey...and even rest for the tiredness that sought to overcome me.

I love our Lord. He is good, all the time.

The story does not end there. Today we received another call from AGCI. The attorney for our agency had the needed document and we were resubmitted to PGN ! What would have taken a couple of weeks, was done in a day! Isn't that just like God! He wants us to seek Him in all things, and He wants to show us His power!

Krispy Kreme

2008-03-13T13:52:00.000-07:00

YUM! Sunday is my birthday, and my wubby will be out of town from today until Sunday evening. SOOOO, this morning in the darkness before daylight, he slipped out of bed, dressed, and braved the night to go across town to the Krispy Kreme shop to bring me two dozen of my favorite doughnuts!! He also managed to get all four of our children to surround me at 7:20 am to sing Happy Birthday!! That in itself was a gift!! None of them are morning people!LOL!

Spa Time!

2008-03-11T11:53:00.000-07:00

I found this picture of my daughter(middle) and two of her close friends. We had a spa party for them! It was great fun!! We did facials, manicures, pedicures, and fizzy, whirlpool foot baths. We also played a fun game of "Go Fish" with decorated bags that contained beauty items such as nail polish and emery boards, cotton balls and hair clips! They enjoyed that game so much they played it over and over!! They dined on sparkling juice and petite fores, chocolate-dipped giant strawberries and....well....pizza cause they ARE kids after all! I bought them all matching cozy robes and truly pampered them all evening:)

This picture reminded me that during this long journey to our children, we should not forget to pamper ourselves a little to keep us feeling fresh and to help us not to become weary travelers. We can go the distance!! If a trip to the spa helps...so be it:)

2008-03-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon ! I am glad you came to visit me today:)
You are probably wondering who in the world is in this picture. No? Well, I will tell you anyway, cuz that's just the kind of gal I am.(TEEHEE)! This is a picture of the members of the band called The Arrival. Don't recognize them? Hmmmm. We'll have to remedy that:) The REALLY cute one in the front is my favorite!!! The far left is their drummer, next to him is their vocalist, in front is their lead guitarist, and on the far right is their bass player. I am most likely their oldest groupie, and love it!! I cannot wait to buy a T-shirt!!( They sell them , ya know....just in case you want one too! There is a pretty yellow one with butterflies, and a black one with green flowers.)
SO what is it about this group of musicians that makes me like them so much? Outside of the fact that they are all talented individuals, that cute one in front is my oldest son!

A Healthy Heart!! Oh, happy day!

2008-03-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

I can hardly contain my excitement or my tears! My nephew and his wife are going to have a baby! Our whole family has rallied around these two in prayer, and now, today, we found out that the baby is a girl, and she has a healthy heart!
This news is balm for the souls of our family. This small child had an older sister...born Jan.9,2007, and entered into eternal life on March 14, 2007 at 9 weeks old. Her name was Aubrey Ruth and she was absolutely beautiful! She was diagnosed with left hypoplastic heart, and bravely endured much suffering in an effort to give her a chance at life. God had other plans. He called her back to Him where she would no longer feel the pain of her hospital stay, but would be cradled in His arms for all of eternity. We love you Aubrey, and miss you terribly!

Praising God for new life!
Robin

2008-03-02T14:02:00.000-08:00

I love this pic of our sweetie:) She is so very pink!!

Make a joyful noise!

2008-03-02T13:26:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon friends!
I am once again sitting in front of my computer.(I am getting quite attached to this chair.) I wanted some quiet time, so I have convinced my daughter and her friend that they need to be outside on this most gorgeous day that God has made:) It worked, and so all is calm..except my thoughts.
I must share a way in which God has done wondrous things. I think you will like this:) Last year (bear with me), my daughter, who was in second grade, refused to be in the children's choir at church. I begged and pleaded and promised blessings untold if she would just make a joyful noise for the lord. NO! NADA! NOPE!(Mind you, she sings constantly at home.) Fast forward to this year, a couple of months into the school year (she attends our parish's Catholic School), she finds out that her friend is joining the choir. Well, if SHE is joining, maybe I should join too. Alleluia !! She is finally joining the choir! Now, once she gets in, she LOVES IT!! She also found out that some lucky person who is willing and able can actually stand up at the podium and cantor!! OOOHHHH!AAAAHHHH!! She just HAD to be one of them! She is all about confidence! Make no mistake that she will not have a problem voicing her opinion...ever! Anyway, last night she had a friend over, and they were singing,"The Lord is my Shepherd, there is nothing I shall want." My daughter was plucking it out on a guitar, and they sang the refrain together. They sang this over and over and over...until Wubby and I were humming along, and could not get the tune out of our heads!! This morning at mass, the children's choir was to sing. The children were filing in to take their seats, and our daughter walks by the pew where we are sitting, and whispers, "I'm cantoring!" Low and behold, when it came time for her to cantor...all alone up there in front of the largest populated service of the day(standing on a stool so she could reach the mic), she amazed one and all by the sweetness that floated out of her soul and into the hearts of all present. I was so moved by her little unwavering voice, but even more moved by the Holy Spirit, because the verse she had to cantor was none other than,"The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want!"

2008-03-01T18:20:00.000-08:00

This is one of our son's early pieces that he did in class. I love it! He used pastels as the medium. I think that is why I like it so much. I'll try to post some more of his work later. Hope you enjoyed this one.

Just to be clear, he did not get his talent from me. I am lucky to color in the lines!!!

2008-03-01T18:09:00.000-08:00

The unveiling of "The Wubby"!!!

This picture is for my friend (you know who you are...teehee!). Wubby is usually taking the pictures, and doesn't much like to be in front of the camera. He makes a dashing Wubby though, don't ya think! I have been in love with this guy since I was sweet 16!! Yep! That's what I said...16!! And he has had to put up with me as penance...poor fella:)

2008-03-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

I love this picture of my sweeties. They are ALL smiling:) Not an easy feat with a 21 year old, two teenagers, and an eight year old! Of course we had just dropped a couple hundred bucks feeding them at a Champaign Brunch! It is our family tradition to go to this place every Easter after mass. They love it, and it comes complete with a person dressed up in a bunny costume for authenticity!! How fun!!

2008-03-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

This picture is very special to us. Not only because it represents a very special moment in the faith of our daughter, but also because it was the picture that gave comfort and peace to our birthmother when we met her. We were telling her we would be praying for her, and she asked us where we prayed. We told her we were Catholic, and showed her this picture of our daughter in her First Communion Dress. She cried as she asked us if we would please send her a picture of our new daughter in HER First Communion dress! Of course I broke down into a blithering mess, and assured her that we most definately would. How comforting for us both to know that this sweet baby was going to be raised in the same faith as that of both her birthmother and her adoptive mother. This was very special to us both. Crossing all barriers of culture and language is God's love and provision for His children, and the perfection in His will. Every time our birthmother goes to Mass, she can rest assured that her daughter is also there, in another country perhaps, but nonetheless present before the same Lord as she is, and receiving Him in Holy Communion. A connection devised by our God to bring comfort and peace to two families who are forever intertwining their lives.

2008-03-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

OOPS!

I had to laugh as I re-read my very first blog post, only to realize that I had a typo in February!! I guess that is just another reason to be glad it is MARCH!!!

Today is the day my middle son has an interview with a college he applied to. He found out he is a finalist for receiving an art scholarship!! We are very excited for him! Even if he doesn't get it, I will be happy that he was a finalist! He dropped off his protfolio on 2/6, and was notified last week. He very casually mentioned it to us as if it was no big deal! Just said one afternoon,"Uh ,by the way. I have to be in Birmingham on Saturday morning for an interview. I am a finalist for an art scholarship." Of course, then, his phone rang, and he was off to talk with his friend!!

BREAKING NEWS! My wubby just called. The interview is complete, and they (three gentlemen interviewers) were very impressed with our son's work!!YEA! Apparently he had something in common with all three interviewers, and made a good impression:) Now we wait (ouch! Sorry to use the "w" word.) to see if he gets offered the scholarship:) My Wubby said they are interviewing 6 candidates for 3 scholarships...being the engineer that he is, he said "He has a 50-50 chance of getting one." Always calculating something!!

Now you all can be on the edge of your seats while waiting for the outcaome of all of this! I know I will be:)

Praising God for all good gifts are from Him!

Robin

2008-02-29T13:53:00.000-08:00

Februarey 29, 2008

Greetings!! Welcome to my Blog!

Well, I thought I had better at least post SOMETHING before my blog died of boredom:) Today is "Leap Day", and I hope I post again before this day four years from now!LOL!

I created this site so that I would have something to do to pass the time while waiting for our daughter to come home from Guatemala. We are neck-deep in the international process , and keep hoping that that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel shows up soon!

A bit about me...I know. You didn't really ask about me... (I'll try to keep it short so you won't fall asleep;) I am a daughter of God, and a wife and a mother and a nurse. Pretty much in that order on most days. I love my Wubby (not a typo, I really do call my husband this!), and we have been blessed with four bio children. Three sons (ages 21,18,and 17) and one daughter(almost 9). God has done wondrous things for us, and we are filled with joy! We are awaiting our second daughter's homecoming from Guatemala. Not sure when that will be, but more on that later.

Hobbies, you ask? Well, of course I find time for hobbies (laughing and snorting! OK, maybe not snorting cuz that wouldn't be ladylike!) Seriously, my most favorite thing to do is spend time with my family. I also enjoy reading, and currently have so many books started that I will be in reading material for ages. Of course, that doesn't stop me from buying new books to start!! I am currently in a MOther's Ministry group at our church, and we are reading Scott Hahn's "Hail, Holy Queen". Fabulous book! I always consider buying books to be a good thing. My kids know this too, especially my daughter who will use it against me occasionally. Uh, Mom? I know I can't buy a new toy, but could we just go to the bookstore.....and BROWSE? Hmmmmmm. She has definitely got my number! I also enjoy playing tennis. I used to be on a USTA team, but right now, I am a couch potato:) I love to watch movies at the theater or at home.

I want to post a witness talk that I wrote a few months ago for our Ultreya Group Reunion , but that will have to wait for a bit. Just my way of keeping you on the edge of your seat!

Back to my reason for blogging...Adoption. There is always waiting, and what we fill our time with while we wait can make or break us. I choose for this to be time well spent (I will discuss the effectivness of retail therapy in another post. HEEHEE:)

I must leave this space for now. Thank you for visiting! I will be back to write some more thoughts when I gather them.....right now, they are strung out all over the place.

Peace!